IZ: Infinite Crisis
by ngrey651
Summary: Collaboration Story With Erin Nightshade! A human is transformed into an Irken by one of Zim's many crazy inventions and must adapt to his new life, while Zim and Dib's lives are put in danger when a bounty's placed on their heads! Read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**INFINITE CRISIS**

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**CHAPTER ONE**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or their respective characters. I'd like to. I have dreams in which I do. I would make GIR wear a tuxedo and Zim would wear a poodle skirt. AND I'd be able to poke Gaz in HER big head and get away with it.**

**Sadly, I do not own IZ. But I do own Nick. So remember that. **

**Also, this story takes place in the continuity of Erin Nightshade's stories, not the large IZ adaptation I've been doing. This story's not connected to that one either way…**

…**or IS it?**

"Yaaaaawwwwwn…ahh. "

A twenty-four-year-old yawned in his yellow-sheeted bed, throwing off the white downy blanket he had over him, stretching his arms before rubbing the sleep from his eyes in his palm. He was wearing grey pajama pants and as he slid out of the bed at the college dorm he lived in, he approached the large green bathrobe on the door to his room, picking it up along with a large green towel.

It was a Saturday and he planned on relaxing. He'd had to put up with some WEIRD stuff for the past years in college …a dog eating his bike pedals and stealing his slushy right off the counter, strange goings-on in the neighborhood, alien kids and space cruisers…

Weird, yeah. He didn't mind that. He kinda LIKED weird stuff. What bothered him was that college ended in the spring and he didn't know where he'd go. He wasn't sure if he could BUY a house at his hometown. He'd gotten a new job and it had a nice salary, but the economy…well…

And so the question was whether he would be able to stay in the place he'd had all his Christmases, Halloweens and Birthdays. Where he'd played out in the yards and parks and had gone biking every single week to the convenience store to pick up an Icee or a candy bar…

He couldn't think of leaving that home. He couldn't.

Nick looked himself over in the mirror of the bathroom. A "cute" face…hazel green eyes…and now he headed into the shower, taking his robe off and putting it and the towel aside as he turned the water on.

PSSSSHHHHHHH!

Soon the shower was over, and Nick was drying himself off.

_**I believe in self-assertion,  
Destiny or slight diversion…  
Now it seems I've got my head on straaaaight!**_

He looked himself over in the mirror, doing his teeth with his toothpaste.

_**I'm a freak, an apparition,  
Seems I've made no right decision…  
Trying to turn back now, it might be-too-late…**_

Brushing his curly/wavy brown hair back, he nodded at the mirro.

_**And it's off to the moon and back again,  
Same old day, same situation!  
My happiness rears back as if to saaaaay…**_

Nick exited the bathroom and headed back to the bathroom…suddenly realizing he'd left his pajama pants in the bathroom…along with his key to his dorm room. He slapped his face.

_**I wanna stay home today! (Don't wanna go out!  
If anyone comes to play…(Gonna get thrown out!)  
I wanna stay home today! (Don't want no company, no way!)  
Yeah, yeah, yeah!**_

Soon Nick was eating breakfast, drinking some hot cocoa outside in cafeteria in the building his dorm room was located in. He took a long sip, sighing.

_**A simple life's my cup of tea  
I don't need nobody but me,  
What I wouldn't give just to be left aloooone…**_

Getting up and finishing, he put his things away and headed back to his room.

_**I wanna be a millionaire someday,  
But know what it feels like to give it away…  
Watch me march to the beat of my-own-drum!**_

Nick noticed there was a poster for a "Jack's Mannequin" concert and his eyes widened. Hmm…maybe he'd go to that. But he'd go get the tickets another time. Not today.

_**And it's over and over and over again…  
Same old day, same situation!  
My happiness rears back as if to saaaay…**_

Going back to his dorm, he opened up the door and sat down in front of his laptop, booting it up.

_**I wanna stay home today! (Don't wanna go out!  
If anyone comes to play…(Gonna get thrown out!)  
I wanna stay home today! (Don't want no company, no way!)  
Yeah, yeah, yeah!**_

He began to type up his story that he was working on and was thinking about going out to get some Chinese to bring in for lunch when he heard a crash of thunder and noticed that it was now pouring buckets outside…and he had the window OPEN.

_**Rain, rain every daaaay now…  
Everyone just step awaaaaay now  
Come another daaaaaay…**_

He groaned loudly and rushed to the door, going past his fan and slamming the window shut, though his collection of "Justice League" comics was now covered in water. He frowned and sighed as he picked them up and brought them to his towel.

_**I wanna stay home today…**__**  
I wanna stay home, stay home, stay home, stay h-**_

And then the power went out in his building. BEEEOOOOOO!

_**I wanna stay home today! (Don't wanna go out!  
If anyone comes to play…(Gonna get thrown out!)  
I wanna stay home today! (Don't want no company, no way!)  
Yeah, yeah, yeah!**_

I wanna stay home today! (Don't wanna go out!  
If anyone comes to play…(Gonna get thrown out!)  
I wanna stay home today! (Don't want no company, no way!)  
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

"…I only wanted a nice day at "home"." Nick mumbled, drying off his comic in the dark of his room. He put the comics away in his big desk and then lay down on his bed, sighing.

"Death rays can't stop the Justice League. Attempts to divide them only make them stronger. Armageddon weapons only make them more resolute. But leave the window open so the rain gets in and-UGH." He groaned.

…he wanted to go to his real home which was two and a half hours away. He hadn't been there in months. He got calls, sure…even letters occasionally.

But he wanted to be home. His REAL home.

He felt so…sad, then. Like he'd lost something of great and infinite value. A feeling so terrible it made him want to cry.

He just curled up and went to sleep instead.

…

…

…

…the next thing he knew, there was a loud crackling noise coming from outside his window. He jolted up and looked outside and saw there was lightning flashing through the air…and…somebody was on top of a roof, trying to hold a lightning rod up to CATCH it?!

His natural desire to help somebody in deep trouble shot up and before he knew it he had put on his raincoat and was rushing out of the dorm door, jumping on his bike after unlocking it and taking off for the house, the figure on the roof still in plain sight a few blocks away.

Soon he was right at the house…a green thing with a pointy red roof, and an odd, green-skinned child was happily cackling…looking at that DOG that had eaten his break pedals and stolen his slushy!

"Ha-ha-ha! Look, GIR! The movie was RIGHT! Lightning storms are perfect conditions for makin' stuff!"

Nick recognized him. "What the H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS are you doing up there?!" Nick yelled out, cupping his hands around his mouth to call out as the lightning struck through the sky and thunder rolled, filling his eardrums with an almost steady booming noise like all of nature was alive and he was listening to it's heartbeat.

"BEHOLD, human! For ZIM has created…THIS THING!" Zim announced as Nick got off the bike, holding up a small grey remote with a big red button and an antennae on top.

"Well what's it friggin' DO?!" Nick roared back.

"I…**DON'T KNOW!** Here!" Zim said, tossing it to Nick…

Who was on a metal bike…and now had ANOTHER piece of metal that he was holding up and looking over. Nick blinked, turning it over in his hands. "What, do I press it or-"

BRRRRRZZZZAAAAAAAKKKAAAAHHHH!

Lightning shot through HIM and the device, going through the top of his head and his body, out through the bike and into the ground. In his spasming "WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH's" his thumb hit the button…

And with an explosion of rainbow-colored light, he was gone from the bike, which fell, smoking, to the ground.

"Uh…IT WORKED!" Zim laughed, holding his fists up. "I'M A GENIUS!"

"Oooh…BIKE PEDALS!" The dog, GIR, announced.

"No, GIR, they give you gas." His owner, Zim, remarked, shaking his head vigorously. "Eat the chain instead. It's got lots of iron in it."

…

…

…

…at first…there had been nothing. Just a white abyss. Then…reality is twisting inside out. He can see, he can SEE himself, younger, more innocent, yet wiser all the same, he feels a pair of hands take his and feels a TUG…and the winds of eternity bring him to a single point.

…

…

…

…Nick awoke to find himself in a chair…with something METAL on his back. "Wh-what's going on?" He remarked quietly, looking around. He looked down and realized that…he had green skin…three clawed fingers…a smaller body…

He tried to grab his head to steady himself and felt…antennae! Slightly fuzzy antennae! With little spiky nubs running up and down it! He gasped in horror. "Wh-what's HAPPENED to me?!" He whimpered, tears filling his eyes…

Then a voice…electronic and cold, attempting to be kind and failing, spoke from the dark blue walls of the room he was in. "You are two minutes old, little smeet."

"Smeet?" Nick blinked in confusion.

"Prepare to be filled with the whole of Irken knowledge!"

"Irken?!" Nick gaped. Was that what he was now? An ALIEN?! Like that Zim, down on-

And then something went into the metal thing on his back, only he felt it go into HIM as well. Suddenly knowledge began to pour into his body, making his eyes widen and strange script passed over them.

The knowledge…it filled him…

"…**neaaaaat**." He announced.

Then it stopped…and disconnected. He suddenly knew what was on his back…a PAK. He knew the entire history of the Irken race and all about their allies and enemies, their greatest accomplishments to date and who their current leaders were.

"UPLOAD COMPLETE!" The thing announced in an almost chipper manner. "You have been given a name. IDENTIFY YOURSELF." It demanded.

"…I…am…"

He almost announced his name as "K'rish".

But NO.

No.

He knew all of Irken history. He could recite old Irken war songs by heart now and knew every single job that existed in Irken society. He knew the exact amount of time it took to build a Voot Cruiser and exactly how Tallest Grapa had contracted the disease that led him to a life filled with spasm-filled pain that ended when he got too close to a "Do Not Touch" high-voltage section of a laboratory.

But one thing he had always known before was his name…where he **really** came from.

What he really was.

"My NAME…is NICK!" Nick announced, his smeetly form standing up and holding his "thumb" up to his chest. "AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME FORGET IT!"

The machine said nothing. Then a pair of robotic arms booted him from the chair and the voice said "Meh. Go to the next room."

Smiling broadly, Nick headed out a nearby open doorway, noticing a large group of similar beings were heading towards a set of double doors. He got in line behind one of them and she turned around, smiling nervously at her, her eyes a beautiful shade of blue. Blue/green…cyan, that was the term.

"Hi." She said in a soft, gentle voice. "I'm a little nervous. I know every single training program that was ever given on Devastis, programs WE might end up doing…but I don't have any idea what's behind those doors." She spoke, pointing at the set of double doors.

"I doubt there's anything behind there that's TOO scary." Nick remarked, shrugging. "I mean…we're just…just smeets."

He ALMOST said kids, but caught himself just in time. She smiled a little. "You're nice." She admitted. "I'm Miyuki." She remarked, holding out one hand. "It means "Beautiful Happiness". What's your name?"

"I'm Nick." Nick said, grinning. He LIKED this strange new alien. There was something so sweet and kindly about her. "It means "Victory of the People"."

The doors at the end opened up and a tall, frowning Irken alien looked at them all…a guard. "Alright, let's go." He announced in a gruff voice. "Time to get you to started on your training exercises…"

As they were led down the hallway and out the double doors, Nick's antennae quivered with a mixture of fear, anticipation and joy. He had no idea what lay ahead for him on this planet Irk…not really. He didn't even know what he'd become.

He supposed he'd have to wing it. It shouldn't be too hard. After all…he'd been taught everything he needed to know about the Irken empire. How hard could it honestly be?

**Author's Note: **

**Hope you enjoyed this first chapter. Please, review! Me and Erin are working on this story in collaboration and we really enjoy knowing that people like our stories. **


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

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It was still raining the very next day. Zim was sitting on the couch, slumped back in a slouching position. His arms crossed in a rather irritated manner.

He HATED rain. It was like POISON to his Irken skin. So...he decided to be lazy and stay indoors until the rain was gone. Lightning flashed outside the window. GIR was on the floor, watching the TV. Zim then looked around, as though he were looking for something.

"GIR, have you seen Erin at all today?" He asked.

The robot turned his head towards his owner, he just smiled, "I have no idea!" GIR exclaimed and then turned back towards the TV.

Zim was now in a very, very, very bad mood. He grabbed one of GIR's rubber piggies and shredded it into a thousand stuffed pieces.

GIR's eyes immediately teared up. Sad violin music began to play.

"No." Zim snapped, stopping the violin music from playing.

GIR began sniffling as the music started up anew.

"NO." Zim growled, stopping the music once more.

GIR began to CRY as the music played more loudly than before.

"ALRIGHT! I'll buy you a new piggy!" Zim snapped. GIR immediately smiled broadly and the music stopped. "I don't know how you do that, but one day I'll figure it out." He remarked, walking off.

GIR, still grinning, popped his head open and took out a tape deck. He kissed it, then popped it back inside his head and closed up, and began to dance to "Footloose", shaking his butt and moving his feet left and right, holding them slightly up in the air as he shook his fists and swirled around.

…

…

…

…unbeknown to Zim, the young female he'd inquired about was three streets over. She was human in appearance. Dark red hair fell around her shoulders. Light blue eyes were almost light against the dark rain. Her skin was a creamy complexion. She wore a dark purple jumper with a light pink shirt and black boots. She was walking beside Dib, Zim's sworn enemy. They were sharing Dib's umbrella. Dib was a young paranormal investigator. He liked all that weird alien type stuff. Dib had black hair, that was pointed at the top, like a scythe. He wore a black jacket, a dark blue t-shirt, black pants and black boots. Dib had brown eyes and he wore glasses.

"Thanks for walking me home!", Erin replied.

"No problem." Dib insisted.

They were both carrying slushies, slurping on them as they walked. They had spent the whole afternoon together. Going to the mall, watching Mysterious Mysteries, the usual. Except...Erin hadn't told Zim. As they got two streets over, they heard a VERY LOUD Irken cry of anger.

"That…that doesn't sound good." Dib exclaimed.

"He can't be that mad!" Erin pointed out, still smiling.

Dib looked at her skeptically. She went first as they approached the house. The gnomes on the lawn came to life at once, the security system had been updated ever since Zim had found out THERE HAD BEEN A FLAW in it. Dib dropped his slushy as the front door flew open. GIR appeared in his dog suite. He saw the slushy on the ground and went for it. Dib was trying to avert being blasted into pieces. Erin just stood there as Zim appeared in the door way,  
his 'human' disguise on, so the neighbors didn't notice.

"And where have you been?" Zim asked pointing a clawed finger at her.

"I brought you a slushy!" Erin said smiling happily and handed it to him.

Zim's anger subsided faster than butter melts in the microwave. He took the slushy. He then raised a none-existent eyebrow at her.

"What is the Dib-stink doing here?" He asked.

Dib's umbrella was destroyed as he tried to deflect the lasers that were being shot at him. Dib then ran behind Erin, using her as a shield. The gnomes stopped shooting, they scanned Erin, their readings read: NOT A TARGET. The neighbors across the street had been standing on their lawn watching what was going on.

"We're normal! EVERYTHING IS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL!" Zim yelled to them, smiling nervously, he then looked at Erin, "Get into the house, **now**. GIR!"

GIR was sitting on the ground, slurping on the slushy that Dib had dropped. He got up and went into the house. Erin went into the house, taking Dib with her. Zim, still holding the slushy Erin had given him, shut the door. He took off his disguise.

"So...uh...how did that thing you were working on, go?" Erin asked.

"Oh it was successful!" Zim replied, "Look. Don't change the subject. How did the giant headed human get into my base?"

"**My head is not big!** And Erin let me in so I didn't get blasted by your gnomes.", Dib exclaimed, glaring at Zim.

Zim handed Erin the slushy and then he and Dib butted heads.

"You're a DIRTY FILTHY HUMAN. And I want you destroyed!" Zim hissed.

"Well...**you're** a-" but Dib didn't get a chance to finish his sentence.

A moment later a giant rock fell through the roof of the house. Rain started falling into the base. Zim jumped into Erin's lap and clung to her. He had made her knock the slushy out of her hand in the process.

"THE WATER! THE FILTHY HUMAN POISON! GET IT AWAY!" Zim howled.

Dib had fallen back on to his back and then he stood up after a moment. He approached the rock. There was something sticking to it. It was a piece of paper. The paper was tapped to the rock. It wasn't just a piece of paper, it was a WANTED POSTER.

**SFX: Dramatic music sting!**

"Wanted. DEAD OR ALIVE…" Dib muttered, reading the piece of paper, he then held it up, "Someone put a bounty on our heads!"

"THE WATER! THE HORRIBLE WATER!" Zim screeched.

"ZIM!" Dib yelled, getting Zim's attention.

"WHAT?" Zim yelled back.

"Someone put a bounty on our heads!" Dib exclaimed holding up the wanted poster.

Zim let go of Erin and stood up. He slowly made his way around the puddle of water and then stood beside Dib. He looked at it.

"10, 000 monies for each of us…" Zim whispered.

Erin joined them a moment later, "This...this doesn't sound good.", She said, looking over Zim's shoulder, taking a look at the poster.

"But who would want to threaten Zim? What has ZIM ever done to anyone?" Zim asked.

He then glared at Dib, "You…**you** did this!"

Zim launched himself at Dib, the two started rolling around on the floor. Erin tried to pull them apart. During the ensuing chaos, the rock started ticking.

"Why is that FILTHY rock making noise?" Zim asked.

"How could I possibly do this to you? I've been right here the whole time!" Dib pointed out.

"YAY! It's gonna get all explody!" GIR exclaimed happily.

Suddenly realizing that no ordinary rock TICKED, Zim, Dib and Erin ran for the lower half of the base. Erin had grabbed GIR, as GIR hadn't followed them right away. They took the elevator to the attic and got into the cruiser. As the cruiser rose up into the sky, Zim's base was destroyed five minutes later.

"Pffew. That was close", Zim said, steering the cruiser.

And so they headed out into the stars…

**In case you couldn't already tell, this is Erin's chappie. Erin sure is amazing, ain't she? REVIEW THIS STORY! AND HERS! Please, or GIR will explode! He does that sometimes. (Nods)**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

"And WOOMP! Domm takes his head off and wins the Blood Sport! Another fantastic victory, don't you think Trivvik?"

"He sure is amazing, isn't he Liirak?"

"Yeah, he must have seriously pumped up his body full of steroids, that's why he wins."

"No, no, he's just defective, I'm sure."

"Either way he's AWESOME!"

A bunch of guards were stationed at a guarding post situated in a training ring. Hundreds of rows of young Irkens were all wearing visors over their eyes as new data was running through their minds and their minds performed battle simulations via the holo-visors. The guards weren't really paying attention though, and were watching a holo-vid screen of the famous "Blood Sport" competition.

"Told you Domm would win."

"D—n. I thought Zex had it down pat!"

"Pay up, sucka."

Twenty five monies was deposited in one of the burly guards hands and he smirked, depositing it in his pocket. "Now then, how about some "Price is Right"?"

All of the guards cheered happily. Meanwhile, Nick was twitching nervously, the holo-visor on his head shaking as he twitched, Miyuki right next to him, as was a dark-green-eyed Irken who was sniggering and muttering something about "blowing up Vortian filth".

Nick's simulation was a violent one, sadly. He was trapped behind a rock, a Vortian sniper attempting to pick him off from a far-off building. Luckily he knew how many rounds were in the sniper's rifle. Aiming his gun after the last shot went off, Nick's simulative self aimed for the Vortian's horns…

KRA-CRAK! They came off and he howled in pain, clutching the stubs. Rushing forward across the barren plain of the simulation, Nick rushed into the building and up the stairs to the top floor, leveling his gun at the Vortian, who shakingly gripped his rifle, which had not yet had new ammo placed within.

"It's over." Nick spoke quietly.

He shot…

And his rifle blaster tore through the sniper's rifle, blowing it in half. A voice in his head announced "Mission Ended: Objectives Not Fully Completed". Nick frowned at this as the voice went on. "Filth Not Eradicated".

"Filth?! I'm friggin' TIRED of this!" He announced angrily, taking the visor off in disgust. This whole room, the whole SYSTEM was uglier than dog dooky.

Hearing this anger, Miyuki ended HER simulation and turned to look at him, taking her own visor off. "Look around us, Miyuki." He remarked, gesticulating at the area of the room. The whole stadium-like room was enormous, but…there was nothing but steel girders above them and dark walls all around. The beeping of machinery could be heard in the air and there was no breeze whatsoever.

"What about this room?" Miyuki asked.

"We've never even seen the planet's surface." Nick remarked. "I want…I want to see." He admitted. "I want to see the SKY." He whispered, reaching up as if to grab ahold of the roof and just push it off. "Just imagine what might be up there. We know all of Irken battle history and can count the number of blows it takes to snap a Vortian bone, but we've no idea what color the SKY is!"

Miyuki nodded. "I want to see the sky too." She admitted. "It gets so…boring down here." She blinked her beautiful blue eyes and then grinned. "I have an idea. Let's bolt."

"Run? Just go up to the surface?" Nick asked, raising a non-existent eyebrow, his dazzling green eyes twinkling.

"Absolutely!" She insisted, nodding her head.

The dark-green-eyed Irken next to them took his visor off and turned his head. "Hey, did you say "see the surface"?" He frowned. "Hold on, if you're going, I want to go too!"

"Okay, Spork, you can come, but we've got be QUIET for this." Nick insisted. "Like we're spies. The whole "James Bond" thing." He elaborated.

"James who?" Spork blinked.

Nick gaped. "You know, James Bond? The spy? From…from…what was that movie? Goldeneye? I…I think that was it…when did I see it?...WHERE?" He frowned and rubbed his chin.

"I'll be quiet. Let's just go." Spork whispered, looking left and right.

Nodding, all of them got off their chairs and carefully but quickly made their way past Irken after Irken…not noticing that those they passed were noticing them and taking off their visors. Eyes went wide, mouths opened slightly…

…

…

…

… Spork was not a very nice person. He was rather ruthless and cold-hearted…Nick would hear him giggling during the occasional break he'd take from the simulation and he'd look to his left to see Spork air-throttling a "filthy stinkbeast" that HIS holo-visor was showing him. Miyuki, in contrast, was much more civil. She didn't gloat or laugh over her victories in the simulation, she just did them.

There was a vaguely somber expression on her face every time she completed a mission that involved killing enemy aliens. Mournful…solemn…it made her look something like an angel.

An angel, Nick thought as they began climbing up a ladder that would lead them to another group of hallways. Just like an angel. What female angels were there? He used to know a lot. But it was so hard…the names were fuzzy and far off…Gabriella? Sariel? Ariel, yes, that was one. But where had he heard that name?

"Is something wrong?" Miyuki asked, jolting Nick out of his memory. He realized that he had stopped in place on the ladder and was holding them up.

"Sorry, just…thinking about churches." Nick remarked.

"Ooh, you mean Saint Grodus's Church?" Spork asked. "Ahh, the lovely Saint Grodus. I tear up whenever I think of how many enemy churches he burnt down."

Nick told half a truth. "Yes, his…devotion to his faith was very interesting." It was, but that wasn't what was bothering him.

What had been the NAME of the church? Cathy…Prot? Ruth-no, Luth…Luther…something…

Did Irk HAVE freedom of Religion? No, it didn't. Not like America, Nick thought as they crawled up into the hallway. America had the rights written right on the Statue of…

Statue of…

Statue of what?

…

…

…

…"Okay, hold on." Miyuki peeked behind the corner of the long, long dark grey hallway and saw a guard at the end. "Another guard. But it looks like he's half asleep."

"You know, if I ever get to be Tallest, maybe I should put robot guards." Spork spoke up.

Nick sniggered, putting his small claws over his mouth. "You?! Be Tallest? Nobody would elect you." He laughed.

"You don't vote for Tallest." Spork remarked angrily, frowning at Nick in irritation.

"You're right, that's for…for…" Nick frowned, brow furrowing. He realized in a horrid instant, a moment that made him gasp harshly, that he COULD NOT REMEMBER WHO THE PRESIDENT HAD BEEN. He couldn't even remember the party the man had been from.

And where was the capital of…of America? Wait…America? Yes, America…

Oh my God, he realized inwardly as they carefully tiptoed past the now-snoozing guard. I've almost forgotten where my true home is…

As they reached a hatch and opened it up, darkness awaited them. They climbed inside, first Miyuki, with an insistence from Nick of "Ladies first", then Spork, then him…and therefore, since the other two were ahead of him, they couldn't see the small tears trickling down Nick's cheeks as he cried silently, realizing that he was forgetting everything that made him human.

…

…

…

… We the…we the people…by the people…shall not parish from the Urth…shall not PERISH from the Urth…no, no, something wasn't right.

They were now shimmying up a long, upwards-leading tunnel, using their feet and hands to climb straight up through another tunnel. There was a circular hatch at the top, with the smallest beams of light poking their claws underneath it, as if whatever was at the other end was, like them, just BEGGING for the hatch to open.

Who had said that speech, Nick wondered, placing a claw to his lip as Miyuki worked the hatch. And…his country, where had that-

Then the hatch was opened and Miyuki gasped in awe, climbing up and out, followed by Spork.

Nick looked upwards…and instantly his lovely green eyes widened. He climbed slowly, as if in a daze, and used a small pipe stuck to the side of the tunnel to gain a foothold, climbing up and out of the tunnel and into the light…onto the surface.

**BGM: Orange Sky, by Alexi Murdoch**

Miyuki let out a long "Wowwww". Spork's small eyes bugged out larger than normal and a genuine smile came over his face. Nick's eyes quivered as his mouth opened slightly.

The sky was a lovely shade of orange, peaceful and calm. White clouds drifted by, with a vaguely yellow tint, and there were far off buildings to their right and left, with a huge, open valley before them. The sun reflected off the rocky, red-tinted mountains that rose against the valley, and a peaceful breeze blew through his spiky antennae.

"Well I had a dream I…stood beneath an orange sky…" Nick murmured.

Miyuki and Spork turned to look at him. "What?" Spork remarked.

"Yes, I had a dreaaaam I…stood beneath an orange sky!" Nick sang out quietly. "With my brother staaaanding by…" He turned to Spork, singing more loudly. "With my brother staaanding byyyy…"

Spork blinked in surprise as Nick walked forward, holding out his hands, as if eager to accept some gift from the heavens.

"I said "Brother, you know, you know…it's a long road we've been walking on! Brother you know it is, you know it is…such a long road we've been walking on!" Nick sang out gently, reaching up to the heavens.

America. That was his home. His REAL home. Lincoln, Jefferson, Kennedy, Washington, WASHINGTON DC, yes, that was it! And the President was Barack! How could he have forgotten at all?

"And I I had a dream I...stood beneath an orange sky..." Nick sang more loudly, turning to Miyuki and holding her hands. "With my sister standing by! With my sister staaaaaanding by!"

That was his home. He would not forget. Not if he could still remember those songs. Not if he could still sing.

"Hey, can we see too?"

"What's going on up there?"

"Wow, it's BEAUTIFUL! Ahh, I'm slipping!"

The trio turned their heads to see other Irkens were trying to climb up to the surface along with them. Getting on his knees, Nick helped the first one, a brown-eyed Irken with a nervous expression on his face, up and out of the tunnel. "So you all followed us?" Spork asked. "The guards didn't wake up, did they?"

"We knocked 'em out." The next one laughed.

"There's gonna kick our _c'hurta's_ for this…"

"Let them kick our butts." Nick sniggered. "C'mon Spork, help me lift them up!"

One by one, Miyuki, Nick and Spork lifted all of the Irkens who had followed them out of the tunnel, and soon all of them were lying on dark green grass, watching the clouds amble by in the orange sky.

_**When I am alone,  
When I've thrown off the weight of this crazy stone...  
When I've lost all care for the things I own...  
That's when I miss you, that's when I miss you, that's when I miss you,  
You who are my home...  
You who are my home...  
And here is what I know now...  
Here is what I know now...  
Goes like this..**_

_**In your love, my salvation lies  
In your love, my salvation lies  
In your love, my salvation lies  
In your love, my salvation lies  
In your love, my salvation lies  
In your love, my salvation lies  
In your love, my salvation lies  
In your love, in their love, all in love!**_

Nick smiled and took a deep breath, allowing the wind to fill his lungs. "You know…this sky's beautiful." He admitted. "It would look even better in BLUE…but I'll take orange for now." He added, opening his green eyes and looking back up at the sky.

And he sang once again.

**"****_Well I had a dream I...stood beneath an orange sky  
Yes I had a dream I…Stood beneath an orange sky  
With my brother and my sister staaaanding by!  
With my brother and my sister staaaanding by!  
With my brother__and my sister standing by..."_**

**Author's Note:**

**Review, please! And I hope you're enjoying this so far. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**-----------------**

Space…the final frontier. The blackness of space seemed so very **big**, full of small stars and planets and beings. There was utter silence within it, and the silence seemed to be broken only by the noise of a purple Irken Class-2 Voot Cruiser. The cruiser was going at a slow pace…as though it didn't know exactly where to go.

Well actually...that was the truth.

"Well, this is just **great**!" Dib replied crossing his arms, "A bounty gets put on our heads **and** we have to flee Earth. We didn't exactly do anything either! At least, I know I didn't". He added, giving Zim a glare that would not only kill, but stick Zim ten feet in the ground and cast dirt over his coffin.

Zim glared back over at him. He shouldn't be complaining, at least they weren't blown into itty bitty pieces of smoldering ash and bones! Whiny humans.

And yet…

There was something Zim had to say. He took a deep breath and said something he had never said before in his life. "I…I actually agree with you." Zim admitted quietly.

Dib looked at him, eyes going wide. "You what? I didn't hear you?" He asked, barely able to believe his ears.

"Is your SMELLY head filled with corn?! I said I agree with you!" Zim replied angrily.

"That's what I thought.", Dib said, smirking. Score one for the Defender of Earth!

Zim rolled his eyes and returned to concentrating on where they were going. Though there was nothing actually _around_ them. He worked the console, thinking to himself, tapping his chin as he did so.

"I should probably call the Tallest, update them on my current situation!" Zim exclaimed.

He promptly sent out a transmission to the Massive. A moment later, a communications monitor lifted up in front of the shield and turned on. Tallest Red and Purple appeared there on the screen. Purple was slurping on a soda. Red was just lounging there, **completely** as lazy as his co-Tallest.

"_What is it Zim_?" Red asked in a annoyed voice.

Erin, who was sharing the pilot seat with Zim, just about pushed Zim into Dib before Zim could answer Red's question. Then she pulled herself up onto her knees, her hands leaning against the console. If she hadn't been leaning on the console, she'd have fallen over.

"I'm sorry we disturbed you, my Tallest," Erin replied, adding the last part with pure affection, "But someone has placed a large bounty on Zim and Dib. We were almost killed. We left Earth in case we were attacked again!"

"A bounty? How much?" Purple asked, looking interested..

"10, 000 each." Erin said, nodding her head.

Their eyes blinked simultaneously. "But…uh...you're alright right?" Red asked quietly, looking at Erin.

"Yeah.", Erin replied shaking her head.

"Oh, I get it!" Purple said catching on and laughing.

Red pushed him roughly off his chair with a THUMP, making Purple scream at him for making him drop his soda. Red turned back to the screen, ignoring Purple.

"We're kind of busy at the moment- ", Red started to say but Purple pushed him to the floor.

"You owe me another soda!" Purple screamed angrily, diving at him.

The transmission ended after that. Zim pulled Erin into his lap as he sat back in the pilot seat.

"GIR, man the cruiser!" Zim ordered, pointing at GIR.

"Yes, sir!" GIR exclaimed, going into Duty Mode and saluting him. Turning back to normal, he then turned and stood in front of the console, smiling happily and thinking about space tacos and riding giant space pigs.

Dib turned to Zim, "So...who would want to get rid of us?" He asked.

Zim thought to himself for a moment, "And who has that much **monies** to get rid of both us anyhow?" He wondered out loud.

Just then the cruiser gave a horrible lurch and they started flying around in circles and doing loops. GIR was **definitely** "manning the cruiser." That's when the cruiser was flying straight towards a giant red planet. Gravity was pulling them in fast. Dib desperately grabbed hold of the seat as Erin and Zim clung to each other…and ALL of them were screaming, though GIR was screaming in joy. The cruiser then a giant flip as they broke through the surface of Mars.

The bubble shield promptly flipped open. Erin was thrown forward into GIR. Knocking both of them out. Zim jumped out after her, leaving Dib in the cruiser. Dib quickly got into the seat and shut the shield before he choked on the poisonous atmosphere. He was able to get a hold of the controls. But it didn't matter...the cruiser was still falling like an asteroid. Zim wrapped his arms around Erin. He was able to open his pak and conceal two invisible breathing helmets over both of them. Erin wrapped her arms around Zim's neck, holding onto them as they fell.

About ten feet from the ground, the mechanical legs in Zim's PAK came out and caught the ground JUST before they were able to reach it. GIR came crashing down a moment later, a small dust of smoke cleared the air as GIR stood back up, undamaged. The cruiser skidded across the surface a second later. Dib emerged, also wearing an invisible bubble helmet over his head as well…the wonders of Irken technology!

The mechanical spider legs retracted and Zim landed on his feet. He let go of Erin only a second later.

"Is everyone okay?" Erin asked, steadying herself against Zim.

"Yeah." Dib replied nodding, "But my stomach feels like…oh god-BLAAAAUUUUURRRGGGHHH!" He turned green and held a hand to his mouth, then bent over and puked out of the bubble helmet.

"I REALLY could have gone my whole life without seeing that." Zim muttered, turning dark green in disgust.

GIR walked over and looked down at the puddle of throw up.

"It looks like dookie!" GIR exclaimed, "I like dookie!" He added.

Ignoring the smell, Erin turned to Zim, "What do we do now, Zim?"

Zim shook his head, "I shall come up with a plan!" He proclaimed, "And it shall be the best plane ever!"

"No it won't!" GIR corrected him.

"Quiet, GIR!"

TWELVE MINUTES LATER....

All of lounged around, GIR skipping stones on the planet's surface while Zim sat on a rock along with Dib, who was to the far left of him. Erin looked from Zim to Erin as she sighed, then looked up at the swirling sky of Mars.

"Lemme guess. You got nothing, right?" Dib asked sitting on Zim's left.

"Nope. Nothing", Zim replied, nodding.

Erin sat down on his right, "I'm sure you'll think of something".

Zim looked at her as she gave him encouraging smile. The Irken's mood seemed to lift. And he was up on his feet, pacing the ground, his thoughts racing at a million miles an hour.

He'd think of something. He HAD to.

**Review please. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

"Three…two…one…HAPPY NEW YEAAAARR!!!"

Everyone cheered and held their drinks up as they stood around the room, looking at the large digital clock that showed the beginning of the new year. New Year's Day was a holiday on Irk for one purpose and one purpose alone: being able to PARTY HARDY!

Let's face it, the Irkens might have been jerks, but at the very least they knew how to have a good time. The tables in the room were LOADED with snacks and drinks, and right now everyone was in their cleanest clothes, all spiffed up…Nick included.

Nick looked at himself in the mirror as he took a deep breath in the "bathroom" area…or at least, what PASSED for the bathroom. He had just cleaned himself up and was now staring at his new outfit.

Miyuki and Spork were now old friends and good companions. Nick knew them very well now and it was because of their bonds, which had first been forged upon seeing Irk's surface that he was now a Communications Officer.

He wore a green outfit to match his beautiful green eyes, with black gloves and boots. His sleeves were a darker shade of green than his pants and chest/stomach pieces of clothing, and part of his outfit was a mouth cover that covered the lower half of his head, mouth included, which made him look almost like an assassin. He had a communications patch attached to the sides of his head, and had turned it off so that he could hear the dance music playing.

He walked out of the bathroom and back to the main dance hall, where Miyuki was standing with Spork. She pointed at one Irken with Maroon eyes who was a tiny thing and who was bragging about how he was going into science in a few years.

Nick looked Miyuki and Spork over, smiling.

They had both become very tall. Miyuki was, in fact, the new Almighty Tallest, with Spork being Second Tallest, being only one and a half shorter than she was. This meant they'd not only gained more cyborg-esque bodies, but they'd had their thumb cut off to prove that they could rule the empire even WITH this little "handicap".

Nick shivered every time he thought about it. He'd listened outside the room and had heard the SCHLUCK sound of the blade slicing through. He NEVER wanted them to cut into his body.

He was jolted out of his thoughts by somebody who was VERY drunk slurring about how HORRIFIC it was that they had to allow so-called filthy Vortians to develop their ships and put their "filthy Vort feet" on "superior Irken ground". Nick frowned a bit at the speaker, an Irken named Fezz. A fitting name…it looked like he had a fez-like head…it was short and squat and ugly. There was a slang name for him that people kept quiet about if they were fond of their tongues: "Pikembo", or "ugly hoo-hoo-dilly head". Nick kept having vivid daydreams of playing "Whack-A-Fezz", in which he would take a foam hammer and whack Fezz back down into the holes in the machine he kept popping out from.

Did I say foam? I meant sledge.

It was then that Nick noticed a small scientist approaching Miyuki. He smiled at her. "May ZIIIIIM have this dance?" He asked.

Miyuki blushed a little. He was obviously drunk. "Awww, I dunno…OKAY!" She agreed. "Why not? I'm drunk enough to dance." She announced, stepping forward.

She picked "Zim" up and waltzing music began. Spork smirked a little at the sight. It was oddly funny, and yet…somewhat sweet. Miyuki was holding Zim in the air as they swayed to and fro like a tree bending gently in the breeze, and their eyes stared deeply into each other, maroon red into bright blue.

"You dance divinely." Zim said quietly. "I kinda have wanted to dance with you for a SUPER long time. I watch you and stuff." He admitted.

"Zim, right?" Miyuki asked. "You WATCH me?"

"Not that I'm stalking!" Zim quickly defended. "I just feel the need to follow you around whenever I see you."

"Heh. You're cute." Miyuki laughed, stroking his head.

"You're beautiful." Zim spoke up, nodding at her.

Nick noticed they were getting…closer to each other. Zim was leaning his head in, and Miyuki was as well. A few moments later, it happened. SMMMMMMMK.

A kiss.

He'd kissed a Tallest. And he kissed her long and good.

Everyone gaped at the sight, and so the two stopped kissing then, and Miyuki put Zim down. Zim bowed deeply and stepped away as Miyuki went to go get a drink. Spork followed after her as Zim approached Nick. _"I wasn't drunk."_ He whispered to Nick, bragging.

Nick's eyes widened, and he then gave Zim a thumbs up. Nodding, he headed over to the drink table and poured himself some soda…overhearing Miyuki giggling.

_"Whaddya mean, you weren't drunk?"_ Spork hissed at Miyuki, non-existent eyebrow raised up.

Nick smiled broadly, then held up a large bag of candy. "WHO WANTS LIK A MAIDS?" He asked.

Zim's hand shot up. "Ooh! Ooh!"

…

…

…

…Nick was receiving a private transmission from Miyuki to meet her at the main docking station of Vort Research Station 9 where he now worked. It had been two years since the party, and that giggle of Miyuki's was stuck inside of Nick's mind, to never, ever be erased.

Ironic that the Vortians and so many other "filthy races" were now friends, Nick thought to himself. But Miyuki had insisted that through compassion and virtue towards other races, Irk's empire would become truly great. She was a very kind being.

"Miyuki!" Nick cheered happily. "Her name is Miyuki and she dances on the saaaand!" he sang out, rushing up to her and hugging her tightly. Then he quickly withdrew and they looked around.

"Nobody else is looking and I don't care if you're drunk or high or anything. Hug me." Miyuki laughed.

Nick did hug her again. "I ain't seen you in 4 months! What have you been up to? What brings you here? It can't be the food, because Vortians eat too much vegetarian junk for their own good. They're like GOATS."

"Goats?" Miyuki blinked. "Oh, yes, you told me about them. No, it's not the food, smart guy." She laughed. "Lard Nar called me up to tell me they've finished working on the Dreadnought-Class Starship I had ordered so I'm going to the labs to see all of the specs." She smiled broadly. "The Meekrob think I can't handle a war with them, but I'm going to show them I can defend my people just as well as they can. It'll be just what we need to win."

"The "atom bomb" of the Irken Empire, perhaps…" Nick murmured softly so she couldn't hear. "Okay!" He smiled and bowed. "Shall I lead the way, milady?"

"Actually, there's something I'd like you to do." Miyuki spoke up. "Nick…you and I have known each other for years and I think…you would make a very fine communications officer on the new ship the Empire's finest scientists are making here on the research station. Would you take the position?" She asked. "You're the first one I've approached for jobs on this thing."

Nick's eyes went wider than saucers. "Y-YES! Absolutely!" He insisted, shaking her two-clawed hand vigorously and hugging her again. "Sister, I can't thank you ENOUGH for this!" He laughed. "I promise I'll be all that I can be!"

"Just be yourself, that's all I ask." Miyuki said. "I've cleared it with the Control Brains…as soon as it's flight-capable, you'll start."

Nick saluted with his gloved hand and both antennas quivered. "I'll be monitoring the communications frequencies constantly!" He said solemnly. "You've got my word I'll do everything I can for the Empire!"

He then blinked. "Say…what will you name the ship?"

Miyuki giggled a little. "Dunno." She admitted. "But I'll think of something fun!"

She waved goodbye to Nick, who smiled and waved back at her.

…

…

…

…and that was the last time Communications Officer Nick ever saw Miyuki alive.

Nick looked at the wall across from the chair of the main hall…the same chair he'd been sitting in when the news had gone across the communications arrays that Miyuki had been tragically killed in an accident. Second Tallest Spork was now in charge.

The man himself walked into the main hall of Vort Research Station Number Nine, smiling to himself. "I'm large and in charge." He announced to himself. "Oh yes, it's good to be the king."

He noticed that Nick was there, looking at the wall, a glazed-over expression on his face. "What's your malfunction?" He inquired.

"…Miyuki's dead." Nick said deadly.

"…you're not just sad, you're…you're DEVASTATED." Spork realized. "You shouldn't be THAT attached to her!"

"She was like my sister." Nick mumbled. "…you know, I never had a sister. I always wanted to know what it would be like to have a sister…"

Spork hovered over on his hover-belt, pointing at Nick. "As your Tallest, I ORDER you to get over her death." He snapped, pointing at the communications officer with one claw.

Well that was it. A direct order from a Tallest was something that Irkens couldn't ignore. Only defectives had the wrongly-wired programming in their PAKS to-

"……it's not that easy, Spork." Nick mumbled. "I've got feelings that…that are all too clear."

"FEELINGS". THAT was the REAL "f word" in Irken society. You didn't talk about feelings!

"You're defective." Spork spoke quietly. He didn't say it accusingly or even cruelly. He just said it in a mellow tone. He then nodded. "Alright. Fine. Miyuki told me that you're going to be the first communications officer on the Dreadnought-Class ship that they had been developing here. The Control Brains have agreed with her judgment and I'll offer my personal recommendation. If you need a few days of mourning to get over Miyuki, you can have them."

Nick was currently swimming in a pea soup-like mog of confusion that was filling his brain. But he managed to reach the surface and gasp for some air a moment later as he turned his head to look at Spork. "Why aren't you upset that I'm mentally/emotionally defective?"

Spork looked at him, blinking. Then he hovered off, and as he did so, the realization came to Nick, striking him hard in the gut and knocking him out of his stupor.

"You're defective too." He realized.

Spork stopped in the air.

Then he nodded his head once, quickly…and hovered through the doorway, going off to find a snack machine.

**Yay for ZAMR! It's such a sweet pairing. Fun to draw too. If you haven't read "Zero Negative" by Demonsurfer, do so. And review this story too!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

It was getting dark on Mars, quickly, only a few sprays of light were left. It had been only a few hours since they had crashed landed on the planet. Zim checked the cruiser for any sustained damages, which there were very few, nothing he couldn't simply fix. Irken technology was simply amazing. Erin walked over to the cruiser. Zim was inside checking the console and monitors, making sure nothing was broken or damaged. He had seen her walk over, so he leaned over, folding his arms over the side of the cruiser.

"Were you able to figure out a plan yet?" She asked him, looking concerned.

"Uh..no, not exactly…but the cruiser is undamaged!" He admitted. "So, our first priority is getting off this MISERABLE planet…" Zim snarled, curling his claws up. "Just in case who ever is trying to kill us was able to trace the cruiser's signal. I doubt it though. Irken technology is VERRRRY advanced", Zim replied proudly.

"And yet you name your technology things like "Megadoomer" and "Massive"." Dib called out.

"QUIET!" Zim snapped.

"But we called the Tallest only a few hours ago. You...you don't think they'd go after the Tallest do you?"Erin asked placing her hands over her mouth, widening in fear.

Zim noticed she looked like she was close to tears. He sighed deeply. He hated EMOTIONS. They were so SICKENING. Irken soldiers were not supposed to be "bleeding hearts" the way Erin and Dib acted.

BUT… he put up with those emotions because of her. He climbed over the side of the cruiser and went over to her. He put his arms around her.

"I'm sure the Tallest are fine", He reassured her gently.

Dib and GIR came over after a few minutes. GIR was clinging to Dib's head…and Dib didn't look too happy about it. He had tried to get GIR off of him for the past two hours but no go.

"Zim, tell your robot to get off of me!", Dib exclaimed, tugging hard.

"Do you mind Dib-stink?!", Zim snapped, it was hard enough to deal with Erin but to deal with Dib's whining too...Zim wanted to leave the pesky human here.

"You have a giant head that smells like TACOS!" GIR replied happily, jumping off of Dib.

Dib glared at him and then at Zim.

"You made her cry?" Dib asked nodding to Erin, who were clinging to Zim.

"I DID NOT make her cry!" Zim protested.

If he weren't holding Erin, Zim would've attacked Dib. So he just glared at him. Eventually, Erin let go of him, and the four climbed into the cruiser. It was slow going at first but they were able to lift off the planet's surface.

…

…

…

…

An hour had passed. They had had to stuff a spare seat cushion into GIR's mouth to keep him from singing the "Doom Song". Dib had his arms folded and he was glaring at him. Zim was having a hard enough time driving the cruiser, as GIR had SWALLOWED the seat cushion and had now started singing the jingle from the "Meow Mix" commercial and WOULDN'T STOOOOP.

AND Erin had fallen asleep in Zim's lap. Although between the three of them, Zim could only stand Erin.

"You could be more helpful", Zim spat at Dib.

"Be more helpful HOW?" Dib asked.

"Has that big head of yours has processed who exactly is trying to kill us?" Zim asked.

"My head is not BIG! And obviously the culprit is Tak", Dib said nonchalantly.

"**Tak**?" Zim asked in almost an echo of Dib's response.

"Yeah. She hates **you** because you ruined her life. And she hates **me** because I helped you stop her from destroying the Earth by turning it into an offering of snacks for her junk-food-obsessed leaders!" Dib explained.

"She wouldn't dare to try to kill ZIM!", Zim exclaimed, "She can try but I'm much better than her!"

"No you ain't!" GIR commented.

Zim just glared at GIR and wondered how much money he could get for him but then changed his mind. Erin woke up only a moment later.

"Where are we?" She asked.

"Somewhere in the depths of space", Dib replied eerily.

"I know **exactly** where I'm going", Zim said looking at Dib angrily.

"But I didn't **say** anything about your driving or your lack of direction", Dib pointed out.

"You were GOING to! Anyway, even if Tak was after us, she'd have to find us first", Zim remarked, laughing.

"Oooo, wat's that shiny thing commin' at us?!" GIR asked happily, pointing.

"…what shiny thing?" Zim asked looking at GIR and then he turned to see what GIR was pointing at.

A missile was being sent right at the cruiser!

"Oh." Zim stated.

Erin slid behind Zim, so he could reach the console. She wrapped her arms around his mid section as the cruiser dodged the missile. The missile exploded ten feet behind them. Tossing the cruiser aside like a scrap piece of metal. The cruiser flipped over and then back into a upright position.

"It's coming back!" Erin screamed as she pointed out over Zim's shoulder.

"What-what is that?" Dib asked.

Just thirty feet from them was an Irken ship, no bigger than the cruiser but still quite intimidating. The opening had a small hole and from the looks of it, it was setting up for a second launch.

"How dare another Irken ship attack ZIM! THEY WILL PAY WITH SOME DOOM!" Zim proclaimed and started touching buttons across the console panel.

"YAY! **DOOM**!" GIR replied happily, waving his hands in the air.

Zim smirked to himself as the front of the cruiser opened up and a laser gun slid out. It shot at the other ship.

TSSEEEEWWW!

When the dust cleared, Zim's smile fell…it had done the equivalent of tuna…nothing. There was no scratch or dent in the other ship.

"Zim, I think...I think this would be a good time to call the Armada", Erin whispered softly.

"DOOKY! I can handle this", Zim snapped, pushing the button again.

And again, it did nothing. He tried a third and fourth time. Still nothing. The other ship started loading another missile.

"_Zim_?" Erin asked quietly.

"I've got **everything** under control!" Zim assured her.

Dib looked at him, "Well, you might want to move out of the way because they're sending another missile at us!" He yelled.

Zim swerved the cruiser and yet again, the missile missed them.

"YAY! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" GIR cheered. Then he blinked. "Wait…that's "bad", right?"

"Nonsense! I can dodge forever!" Zim laughed.

**Author's Notes:  
Famous last words. XD**

**Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

Spork had gone off to find snacks. Nick had gone off to get a DRINK. Walking up to a drink-dispensing machine and focusing his PAK. Instantly a mechanical tentacle snaked it's way out of one of the green patches of the PAK and shot into the machine. A soda cluttered down into the hatch below and Nick took it out, sipping it happily.

He headed down the hallway when an idea came to him after he'd finished slurping down all the soda…

Go there. To where SHE'D last been.

He took a deep breath, trying to gain the courage up to turn to the right and go down to the laboratory, then he nodded resolutely and headed down the hallway. He opened up a pair of double doors and found himself in a once-sterile environment that had a huge hole punctured in the side where some…THING had gotten out.

Nick walked around the white-painted room, looking at the many tiles, almost counting them in his head. Then he sighed quietly and headed over to a place that had a little metal clipboard on it. On the top read a schedule with the words "Show Lady Miyuki specs of the "Dreadnought Class" starship." The words "BIG DAY" were written on the side and a little Vortian head was doodled on the side with the Vortian giving a thumbs up and winking.

It was then that somebody put a knife to the back of Nick's throat and his eyes widened.

"Don't move." A voice whispered.

Nick stood absolutely still…though he was understandable frightened.

"What are you doing in here?" The voice asked. The tone…it sounded somewhat like…

"I've heard you speaking before to Lady Miyuki." Nick realized. "You're Lard Nar!"

Lard Nar was a Vortian. Like all Vortians, he had grey skin and horns that curled back like a ram's. The thicker and bigger, the better for Vortians. The younger of their kind had little nubs. Cute, really.

Lard Nar blinked behind his green goggles, his scientist's robe smelling awful. "You've heard me before…speaking with Miyuki?"

"Yes, on the communications channels. I'm just a communications officer." Nick spoke up.

"You've definitely got the outfit for it…alright, turn around."

Nick did so slowly, and came face-to-face with the smelly, filthy-looking Vortian. He looked like Dr….Dr what? Finklestein? No, that wasn't right…hadn't he been some doctor on the run from the law. He'd seen one, this doctor played in that movie by…

Gerald Ford? Something Ford.

"WE…are going to be blamed for this." Lard Nar said angrily. "I want you to get me off this Research Station and back down to Vort!"

"Why would Spork blame you?" Nick asked.

"He's an IRKEN. Why would he blame one of his own species for the death of one of its greatest leaders?" Lard Nar said in a tone that was both sorrowful and angry. "I had absolutely NOTHING against Lady Miyuki, she was one of the few GOOD Irkens there are…"

"You have family?" Nick asked quietly.

Lard Nar blinked. "…yeah. Little sister with two kids." He admitted.

"Been away from home for long?"

"...two years." Lard Nar said quietly.

"Alright, I'll…I'll get you down there. But I need an excuse as to why I'm bringing you down. You'll have to go as my prisoner."

…

…

…

… "As you know…" Recently-Appointed-General Fezz spoke up, walking back and forth in front of the various Irkens on board of Vortian Research Station Nine. "Vort launched a cowardly sneak attack and murdered our beloved ex-Tallest, Miyuki. Spork has ordered ALL Vortian scientists in the research stations to be taken down to Vort so that we can investigate the CAUSE of this rebellion and exterminate the perpetrators."

Each of the Irkens had prisoners. Nick's was Lard Nar, tied up in stasis cuffs and looking defiant. A white-eyed Irken who had no arm or leg coverings, with tip-less gloves and a bandolier was next to him, carefully holding onto Elaice, another Vortian scientist who had been the head of Research Station Nine…the big cheese. She looked frightened out of her mind and for good reason, that was Darth, who was one of the most skilled physical defectives the empire had.

"Does this mean we're gonna all get WEAPONS? Will we get a chainsaw, like the one Domm on the Blood Sport uses?" A eager-looking female named Mar asked. She had pink eyes and a VERY large, cute grin. "That would be so cool."

"Totally." Her prisoner agreed.

"Like, no speaking!" Mar remarked, giving her Vortian prisoner a playful whack.

"Weapons, yes. Not a chainsaw though." Fezz explained, nodding his head. He snapped his claws and SIR units marched in, their grey heads bobbing as they held up different weapons, going to one Irken at a time. Mar was given two energy staffs which crackled with energy at the tips, Darth was given a waistband that had various fragmentation grenades on it. He held it in his gloved claws and weighed it there, nodding firmly.

Nick was given a set of pistols…and a rifle. The pistols were blue in color with a white canister at the top that contained the ammunition chamber, which could be refilled by sliding a smaller canister in at the top. The rifle was a grey and silver thing with a sleek barrel and a smooth handle. It was somewhat like the old sniper rifles he had seen in movies like…

Hmm. Why could he not remember the title? Aw, he'd think about it later. He holstered all of them and Fezz nodded at the Irkens before him. "Get to the Dreadnought-Class ship, our latest and greatest achievement. It will deliver you to Vort. We've got a prison facility set up to house these filths. Then you'll receive further orders from up top, got it?"

"Yes sir." They all said, saluting.

Nick moved Lard Nar to the Dreadnought-class ship and locked him up with the other prisoners. He gave him a knowing wink, then headed to his station at the communications chairs in the main deck.

"It's all cleared with the station. Hangar bay doors open." He announced.

"Jets are ready and firing!" An engineer shouted.

"So then…shall we get moving?" Spork inquired. "Blast off!"

The ship shot out towards the swirling dark brown/gray planet of Vort…

…

…

…

… Vort's mountains towered high, though not as tall as their cities. You see, in the beginning, Vortians were a lot like goats: their specially-developed legs allowed them to "jump good". VERY GOOD. Therefore they'd leap from peak to peak and it was easy for them to dodge predators. Taller, bigger, that was better!

The prison complex was a large tower-like structure that looked like it was trying to part the skies itself. One by one the Vortians were herded inside and placed in glass cells. There were some beds and a toilet stationed RIGHT in the middle of the room. Awkwardly…there were two people per cell, and scientists Elaice Mal and Lard Nar were placed in the same room.

"Male and female? This feels…wrong." Nick remarked to Darth, who just shrugged.

"Orders are orders. In any case…" He turned to Nick. "Have you noticed how close we are to Vaish?"

Nick walked to a window across from the hallway and peered out. Sure enough, the tall grey and red towers of Vaish, a major city of planet Vort in the country of Vacha was really only a few miles away. It was almost as if…

"They either WANT them to come get the prisoners or want US to go into THERE." Nick remarked, frowning deeply.

Darth nodded. "Yes, it stinks to high heaven." He smelled the air. "…you know what else stinks? This prison facility, when was the last time they CLEANED in here?"

"Yeah, uh, the toilet's like, TOTALLY backed up." Mar remarked, walking out of the bathroom and waving the smell away from her face. "Do you think anyone here's got janitor skills or somethin'?"

"…nope." Nick and Darth said at the same time.

"Our force contains the Irkens HERE." Darth told Mar. "Though "Pikembo" will be down soon enough…"

"Ooh, look." Mar announced, pointing out the window. "I see Vortians! Wow, their horns are SHINY."

Nick and Darth peeked out the window again and saw a large platoon of Vortians were approaching. Frowning, Nick looked at the unseeing Darth. "There's a HORDE of them." He announced. "Think they're armed?"

"…let us go out and say…hello." Darth suggested.

It wasn't long before all of them were outside and facing down the huge group of Vortians. They, the Irken force, numbered around 20. The Vortians were almost TWICE that...but they didn't have any weapons with them like the Irkens did. They'd come carrying a white flag.

"We'd like to talk to your leaders about releasing the prisoners." The female Vortian with curly horns spoke up. She had pink eyes and was wearing a blue and black jacket. Her face was oddly familiar. "There's been a great mistake. We of Vort had great respect for Lady Miyuki and did not wish her any harm."

"Is there a PERSONAL stake in this?" Darth inquired in a slightly evil fashion.

"…I'm May Nar. Lard Nar, scientist of Research Station Nine, is my brother and is one of the prisoners…I heard about it on the news reports." May Nar spoke up.

"May? That's a…that's a pretty name." Nick spoke up. "I took in your brother, would you like to see him?" He asked.

May's face lit up. Then she blinked a few times. "Wait…" Her pink eyes narrowed. "Is this a trick?"

"No tricks. You want to clear their names, right? Well fine, let's all go to the facility and get General Fezz down here so we can sort this out." Nick insisted. He tapped his communications chip on the side of his head. "Contact General Fezz and tell him to call us ASAP at the facility. I'm sure he'll understand!"

SOON…

"What the Irk is this?" General Fezz growled angrily.

He didn't understand.

All of the Vortians were together…and out of their cells. May was holding onto her brother and hugging him, and Lard Nar gave Nick a look of eternal gratitude. Nick cleared his throat and spoke up. "These Vortians are here to speak about Lady Miyuki's death. They claim innocence in the matter and wish to clear the name of their planet." Nick explained.

"You think I'm gonna listen to their lies?! What are you, a KAGASAR SHREEKIT!?!" He swore horridly. He was turning dark green in the face and looking even uglier than usual.

"Sir, it can't hurt to hear their side of the story." Darth spoke up.

"We're not here for a tea-time. You want to be like this FILTH?!" Fezz snapped. "We're going to put them all to death for daring to lie to the Irken Empire!"

"You mean you sent us here just to KILL them?!" Mar asked. "Now hold on, we're not at war and I don't think the Vortians are SMART enough to-"

"Who asked YOU?!" Fezz snapped angrily at her. "Exterminate all of these PIGS!" He hissed.

One by one the Irkens in the facility looked around at each other…then at the Vortians…then at Fezz.

"Well!?" Fezz snapped. "**What are you waiting for?!**" He demanded. "**THE ORDERS**-"

"Pikembo?" Nick spoke up suddenly. "Did you know that according to the history books, twenty percent of all the officer casualties sustained on the battlefield are caused by their subordinates?"

BAM!

Fezz hit the ground, the back of his head bleeding. "Hmm. Irken skull: caves in upon impact with rifle butt. Evaluation…PATHETIC." Nick remarked, slinging the rifle back onto his back.

"Well…I'd say he tripped and hit his head." Darth remarked cheerily.

"Yep. Freak accident all the way." Mar agreed.

The Vortians all nodded their heads and Nick smirked broadly. "So…time to make up a fake report on how we "Took care" of the "Vortian revolutionaries" who sought to bring down the Empire, wouldn't you say?"

"So I guess you can go home now." Nick told the Vortians, nodding at them.

Looking at May.

"…uh…you know…maybe I should…walk them home? Make sure…they don't get lost?"

A few of the soldiers shrugged. Most just walked off. Darth gave a knowing grin and nodded, while Mar laughed happily. "Yeah, like TOTALLY!"

Nick gently took May's hand. "Shall we?" He asked.

"_Oh my God I like her."_ He realized in his head as he felt a warmth go through him. _"A LOT."_

**Review please. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

The cruiser dodge another missile. This game was beginning to wear thin because neither ship was winning or losing. And Zim seemed bent on winning, no matter **what**. But the problem was, whenever the cruiser moved, the other ship seemed to have a locked target. However, Zim was fast, so the cruiser swerved out of the way. But it didn't matter. Every time one of the missiles exploded, it sent the cruiser flipping over, tumbling in circles!

Unless SOMEBODY did SOMETHING…

"Zim, please listen to me. We have to call the Tallest", Erin begged for about the dozenth time, "We can't keep doing this forever". She insisted, clasping her hands together, sweat on her brow.

THUDDA!

The cruiser shook as they were sent flying backwards. GIR went flying into the cruiser's shield with a PLOP, and then fell back onto the floor of the cruiser.

"I hit my head." He announced.

"…OW…" Dib had fallen sideways into Erin and Zim but Zim pushed Dib away as soon as the cruiser was back into it's upright position.

"I'm **not** calling the Tallest", Zim replied stubbornly, sticking his tongue out.

Erin knew the transmission code by heart anyway. You see....she had a BIT of a CRUSH on Tallest Red. ACTUALLY...it was so FREAKING OBVIOUS that they liked each other...that a blind person could've pointed it out. Anyway, she reached over and started pushing the buttons on the console. But Zim grabbed her wrist before she could finish.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"She's calling your snack-obsessed leaders", Dib pointed out, "I don't see what good that will do us but at LEAST she's doing something!" He snapped angrily.

Zim glared at Dib, he wasn't helping. Zim turned back to Erin.

"We're NOT calling the Tallest!" He repeated.

Too late! Erin had reached over when his back had been turned and finished punching in the transmission code. The monitor popped up and the Tallest appeared on the screen.

"What is it now?" Purple asked, sipping an orange soda.

"My Tallest, we're being attacked by another Irken ship!" Erin replied with fear visible in her eyes.

"But we didn't authorize anyone to go attacking people", Red exclaimed, non-existent eyebrows widening.

SCHOOMP!

Something exploded next to the cruiser. The cruiser was thrown off kilter. Erin gripped onto the console as Zim went flying into Dib. GIR hit the top of the cruiser and laughed crazily. Red and Purple looked a little freaked out about what they were witnessing.

"_Vir na tishani!_ What was that?!" Purple asked, swearing vividly.

"Another missile!", Erin said as the cruiser shook violently.

"There's been OTHERS?" Purple gaped.

Red went off screen and turned to one of the officers, "Find out their location. NOW!" He came back onto the screen after a second, "Didn't you say something about someone trying to kill you or something?"

Erin was ABOUT to answer him but the transmission started to break up. And then there was static on both ends.

"Sirs, I'm afraid we've lost communication", one of the officers said, turning to the Tallest.

"RED! MY TALLEST!" Erin cried, pushing all sorts of buttons, she even re-entered the transmission code but nothing happened.

The cruiser shook again as Zim and Dib got back up into their upright positions. Zim groaned. He gently pushed Erin away from the monitor and took his seat in front of the console. Erin wrapped her arms around Zim's middle as he flew the cruiser upwards away from the other ship. The other ship was just sitting there. Like it was waiting for something.

"It's just...sitting there…" Dib replied, holding up his left hand and pointing as though  
pointing out the obvious.

"It's weakness is in the hole where the missiles are being sent out", Erin muttered, "When it opens and gets ready to load, they'll be vulnerable!"

Zim smirked as she told him this. He waited for the next moment, which was two minutes later. Zim fired the cruisers laser into the hole of the other ship.

"And why didn't you say anything earlier?" Dib asked looking at Erin, as they flew away before the explosion happened.

"It took me a while to think straight while we were being shot at", Erin exclaimed in her defense, placing her hands on her hips and looking very offended.

Behind them, exactly 300 feet away, a huge explosion erupted.

…

…

…

…On Planet Dirt, a dark purple-eyed Irken with a fancy outfit she'd made herself curled her gloved hands into fists and swore under her breath. As her cloaked garb flickered in the wind and her curled antennae quivered in anger, the mental implant on the side of her head throbbed along with the veins on her body. Her name…was Tak.

"Looks like we'll have to go to plan B", Tak hissed, looking over the control console for the ship they'd been operating from remote control.

A blind Irken with balled antennae, none other than Darth himself, had been absentmindedly writing what he wanted to put into Zim's "Black Bug Room", or his own personal hell, as it were. He was imagining a lot of bees (Zim HATED bees), with harpoon-like stingers, evil monkeys, and blood pouring from the walls that would put "Stephen King's "The Shining" to shame.

"And what exactly would be plan B?" Darth asked, hearing Tak speak up, turning his head.

"I'm thinking!" Tak snapped in her vaguely British accent.

"Well think faster." Darth remarked in his all-too-silky-smooth voice. "Zim needs to die and since the Control Brains didn't exactly do their jobs at that stupid existence evaluation, we'll have to do the deed ourselves." Darth replied. "Consider it our "good deed for the day"…the Empire will be better off with them dead and gone."

"Luckily I was able to disrupt their transmission to the Tallest, so they can't ask for help", Tak exclaimed, grinning proudly.

"Hmm." Darth placed a claw to his lip, his white eyes glistening in a creepy fashion. "This gives me an idea", Darth said thoughtfully, "Who is that female who hangs around Zim? The one you've told me about before?"

"Erin. She's an annoying humanoid. But she's less annoying than Zim. What **about** her?" Tak asked crossing her arms.

"I think I just got an idea." Darth replied.

"And that would be...?" Tak asked slowly, a non-existent eyebrow raised.

"We use the humanoid as **bait**. Lure Zim into a trap. The Tallest witness Zim's destruction. No more Zim!" Darth explained, stretching his arms out to make his point.

Tak smirked. "Sounds good to me…"

And with that, she threw her head back and laughed and laughed and laughed, the laughter echoing through the skies…

**Review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

"Allow me to offer an opinion." May remarked as she and Nick walked down the sidewalk in Vaish, the red towers rising up to the heavens around them. They were on their way to a movie, but had been forced to make a stop at the nearby grocery to get some supplies for the rest of the Irken force on Vort that had remained behind by order of Tallest Spork to "ensure there would be no more incidents".

"What's the opinion?" Nick wanted to know, looking interested.

"Your friend Darth's got a king-size bug all the way up his duodenum." May laughed. "Did you SEE those sketches he did of "Invader Zim"? I didin't know it was possible for a blind ANYTHING to draw like that."

"Yeah, the peeled skin was a little…gross." Nick admitted.

"So you agree with me!" May added, turning her head to look right into his eyes, pink into green.

"Noooot exactly." Nick remarked, shrugging. "He's just trying to cope with losing Miyuki. She was the one who advocated for allowing physical defectives to find a place in Irken society. If it wasn't for her, they would have just been eradicated. He owed everything to her and Zim took her away from him. He just…can't forgive. I'm TRYING to tell him to forgive, but…" He bit his lip. "It'll take a lot for that to happen."

"He still freaks me out. But he's not as big a tightwad as Spork."

"Yeah, he's so uptight that when he farts, only TROGS can hear it." Nick sniggered.

"Do you have to carry that rifle on your back though?" May asked. "My ex-husband's not THAT bad…"

"You told me he's a crime boss. Why would I NOT carry it around in case he tries something?"

Soon, they'd reached the theater and May Nar held up the monies for a ticket. Nodding at her happily, the ticketmaster let them in and they got the best seat they could find…in the back, where, if needed, they could make out without prying eyes watching.

The GOOD news was that that movie wasn't so hot and didn't have much of a plot. BUT that meant they could snog away.

And so, that night, Nick nervously held his hands down and in front of him, visibly blushing. "Well…good night." He said, bending down and kissing her lips, pulling the veil over his mouth down. He then waved goodbye and walked off, heading back to the fortress.

…

…

…

…she wasn't there in the morning. What WAS there was a mess…and a note.

"Don't come near my wife again, you foul Irken-" the rest couldn't be repeated in mixed company.

Clutching the note so hard he was afraid he was going to rip it in two, Nick ground his teeth, then raced out the house, moving past broken vases, slashes and burn marks on the wall and a broken-open doorway, heading back to the prison fortress that was the Irken base. He had to get help.

"Lemme see if I've got this right…" Mar asked. "You want us goin' after yer girl? That's so cuuute!" She laughed.

Darth rubbed his chin. "Hmm…" He frowned a little. "I don't exactly LIKE being here. And I had planned on calling up Tallest Spork and asking him to get me transferred somewhere else. I've heard Invader Tak wants a transfer off of Dirt-"

"Darth, PLEASE." Nick begged, clutching onto Darth's arm.

Instantly a flood of images went through his head as Darth's unseeing eyes FOCUSED on him, and pupils that had appeared to see above and beyond looked right at HIM. He couldn't understand the pictures, they were almost abstract, the IDEA of points that were trying to be explained…

"Alright." Darth remarked, as he lifted Nick's gloved claws off him. "I'll help you. She has children you're concerned over and I'm not without a heart, so…" He grinned. "You told me that Hanna Rom, her ex-husband, is a crime boss? Well luckily for you, I happen to know enough about the nightlife of Vort to find THIS out."

He pulled out something from his pocket and handed it to Nick, who looked it over. It was a flyer for a private party hosted by Hanna Rom at his home…a very large and fancy-looking party, at that.

"I will attend the party and be the distraction while you and Mar indulge in some breaking and entering to find your girlfriend. What do you say?"

Nick grinned. "I LIKE it. You gonna be a James Bond and wear a tuxedo and carry a Walter PPK and all that?"

"James who?"

"A spy." Nick remarked. His memories of Earth were VERY hard to hold onto, but he was honestly trying very hard and being around May seemed to awaken some of his old sentimental nostalgia for his home planet.

"Yes, I'm going to be a spy. But…I'm not going to need a gun." Darth remarked. "However would I aim it?" He added darkly, tapping at his unseeing eyes.

…

…

…

…Mar carefully slunk through the vent shafts of the dark halls, having gone down the elevator shaft and out the elevator to the security room. "Here we are. Heh, TOO easy." She remarked, grinning broadly. She pressed her gloved claws to a nearby console and the entire wall lit up, showing off hundreds upon hundreds of blue-tinted screens that showed off where cameras were filming. "Wow, the party's jumpin', alright. Too bad you gotta crash it! Anyhow…" She typed in a series of numbers into the console. "Hmm…"

BEEP! WRONG PASSWORD.

"Dang it. What was the password again?" She asked, raising her wrist communicator.

Nick tapped the communications chip on the side of his head and frowned as he slunk along the hallway on the other side of the large mansion that the party was at. "I told you, the computer reads bio-electric patterns and turns them into a code that creates a unique combination which is based off our personal crackle."

"Hmm." Mar tapped her lip, then grinned and quickly entered in a number.

BEEP! CORRECT!

"Ha! Knew it! My locker number. That's the only number I've EVER typed or worked with." She remarked.

"…I'm not gonna comment on that." Nick thought, tapping the communications chip. "So you're in?"

"The security system is goin' bye-bye in five…four…three…two…ONE! Okay Darth, you're in."

Darth tapped the little flower on his tuxedo and grinned. "Got it…and sneakin' in." He said, climbing through the no-longer-alarmed window, making his way to the ballroom.

…

…

…

…some time later, a smarmy-looking Vortian with sharp-tipped horns was speaking to his guards, a red and black jacket on his person. "You sure she and her dumb kids are locked up good and tight but not actually HURT?"

"Yes sir. We just knocked them out. But they kept running around at the house…"

Hanna Rom rubbed his chin. "Well good. Because that hurting is MY job. I'm gonna make her pay for seeing Irken FILTH-hold…on." He frowned deeply as he looked out at the ballroom and it's many occupants, looking past a chandelier, three tables with large bowls filled with types of champagne and fancy red rugs. "The eyes of Hanna Rom reveal a FILTHY IRKEN in our midst."

Darth was chatting it up with some sexy-looking Vortians whom he had literally sunk his claws into and they were now hanging on his every word. "So he says "You got any idea what this flag stands for?" and I said "Flag? I thought it was toilet paper!". So then we started to FIGHT, and then he was in BITS…" Darth remarked cheerily.

"This…is a private function and I do NOT remember placing any Irken on the guest list." Hamma Rom snapped, approaching him as his guards advanced to either side of Darth.

"Well, you won't find me on your guest list because my comrades are here to steal your "valuables". And I'M…just…THE **DISTRACTION**!" He cackled, extending his claws fully and stabbing them deep into the guard's chests. "Attack your former master!" He commanded.

They turned on Hamma Rom, their eyes glowing White as Darth grinned and Hamma Rom whistled for more guards to come out, making Darth laugh. "Yeah, go ahead, call in more help…give me a REASON to go all out…" He hissed, licking his lips.

Meanwhile, May and her two children were clinging together in a dank cell, water dripping down the walls as they nervously looked at the single door to the cell.

"What's gonna happen to us?" Young Bo asked.

"I…don't know." May admitted quietly.

CREAAAK!

The door open and Nick stood in the doorway, the rifle on his back smoking from the barrel, a screaming guard clutching his legs down the hallway. "Aren't you glad I carry this on my back all the time?" He remarked in a chipper fashion.

…

…

…

… "Huff…puff…"

All of them ran for their lives as they raced down the hallway.

"This SUCKS!" Mar announced.

"Well you shouldn't have worn HIGH HEELS!" Darth growled.

"Did you rig the place to blow?" Nick asked, turning his head.

"Yep." Darth remarked.

"Did you warn the guests?" Nick asked as well.

"Nope."

"DAAAARTH!" Nick hissed angrily.

"They all took off after they saw the guards were cutting themselves to pieces." Darth laughed. "Ah, the power of SUGGESTION…" He remarked, holding up his blood-stained claws…and then tripping on the floor. He hissed angrily and got back up…just as a large explosion rocked the entire mansion and fire began to pour out from the end of the hallway, where they had just come from.

"So you've no doubt we can survive this?" May asked.

"Oh **absolutely**." Nick remarked. "In case you forgot, we're in the left-hand side of the house…and right outside the windows…" He pointed forward down the hallway. "Is where he keeps his vehicles."

CRASH! They jumped out of the window and down towards a large truck-like hovercraft as an explosion blasted the mansion's roof off the hinges and Hamma Rom's wail of anger and pain could be heard through the sky. "It IS our lucky night!" May remarked, holding tightly to her kids as they all landed in the back of the craft, on a bunch of soft packages labeled "Jello", allowing some squishy, sugary purple goodness to leak out. Instantly Bo and Ian began stuffing their faces with the stuff as Nick climbed in the front seat of the hovercraft and they headed through the air as the mansion burnt to the ground.

"Of course, my house is still a wreck." May admitted quietly. "So I'm gonna have to sleep at YOUR place tonight."

Nick grinned a little. "Uh, that…that's no problem! We have some spare beds, don't we?" He asked Darth and Mar.

"…yes, I suppose." Darth remarked, yawning and stretching out on the Jello packages, licking some off his gloved claws. "Mmm…blurpleberry!"

**Review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

"Zim…Zim, I neeeeeed to use the bathroom", Erin muttered tapping him on the shoulder.

It had been over three hours since she last went. Zim had put the cruiser on auto-pilot so he could fix the transmission relay on the monitor. It was still all static and he couldn't find the problem because according to the cruiser's system, there was nothing wrong with anything on the console!

"Why don't you just go?" He asked nonchalantly, turning to look at her, a non-existent eyebrow

"I CAN'T JUST GO!" She replied angrily, a vein throbbing on her forehead.

"Fine!" Zim exclaimed rolling his eyes, "Dib, turn around for like five minutes".

Dib just looked at him like he freaking out of his mind. "WHAT?!"

"Zim! I am NOT going to the bathroom in the cruiser! There's no TOILET!" Erin pointed out.

"Does this look like the Massive to you?" Zim asked, frowning.

(Camera pants to outside the Voot Cruiser, which, after a few moments, shakes wildly)

**"WE ARE FINDING SOMEWHERE FOR ME TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND WE ARE FINDING IT NOOOOOW!!!"**

…

…

…

…Several minutes later, they landed on a brownish looking planet. Zim didn't even check which planet it was. But apparently it had utilities, which meant....there was a building with a toilet. Zim and Dib stood by the cruiser as Erin promptly ran into the small building and into one of the bathroom stalls.

…Unfortunately, Darth was in the next stall over, and he had eaten too many burritos and BOY did he have to go! And Darth was blind...so he had actually gone into the girl's bathroom on accident.

This was not the first time he had done it. Nor would it be the last. XD

Erin flushed the toilet and left her stall.

"What is that smell?" Erin asked covering her nose and sticking her tongue out in digust.

"Oh, sorry, that would be the burritos I ate", Darth replied as he came out of the next stall only a second later, going over to a nearby "Sanitation Solution" dispenser. It wasn't hard, it smelled VERY strongly of alcohol. Pressing the big button and holding his glove beneath, he washed his gloves free of filth and then wiped the excess sanitation solution off on his outfit.

Erin gaped at him, she hated to point out the elephant in the room, but…

"Uh...you're a guy. And this is a girl's bathroom!" She stated.

"Oh." He blinked his unseeing eyes. "It is? Oh well. It's not like I can see anything. I'm blind", Darth explained, pointing at his big, white eyes.

"Oh. I'm sorry...I had no idea", Erin said. So THAT was the reason behind his eyes. But that didn't explain his balled, almost feminine antennae…

"It's not your fault. And I'm sorry too", Darth muttered quietly, shaking his head.

"Why?" Erin asked, looking confused.

"For this. FELIX!" Darth shouted, snapping his claws.

With a bound and a cheery squeak, Darth's SIR Unit jumped down from the vent above a moment later and stood in front of the bathroom door, blocking Erin's only escape. It had an oddly-rounded body, there were no edges on it at all, and it's eyes were big and oddly deep.

"You're Erin, right?" Darth asked, approaching Erin from behind while she was focused on Felix.

"Yeah. I- ", Erin started to say but she when she turned out…

FWISH!

FWOMP!

She fell unconscious on the bathroom floor. Darth had sprayed a green spray into her face…which was a lucky shot, considering his lack of eye sight.

"Just checking", He replied with a smirk. "Felix, pick her up, but be gentle…she's precious cargo."

"You got it, Uncle Darth." Felix said happily. He lifted Erin's still form up. "WOAH, she's heavy!"

Darth walked over and slapped Felix across his metal face. "Felix! For shame! You don't comment on a woman's weight." He remarked, frowning.

…

…

…

…"What is taking her so long?" Zim asked.

"Jeez Zim, give her a break", Dib snapped, "She looked like she really needed to go and commenting on how long women take in the bathroom's REALLY not something you do."

GIR was playing in a pile of dirt, making mud angels and laughing as he did so.

Zim had crossed his arms and continued to tap his foot impatiently against the ground.

"That's it! I'm going in there and see what is taking her so long", Zim exclaimed.

"Gee, no way THIS could go wrong." Dib muttered as he followed after Zim.

Going into a girl's bathroom was taboo…the place was UNCHARTED TERRITORY. Therefore, Zim put his hand over the part of his face where a 'nose' would have been and Dib promptly covered his own nose so as to not breathe in any "cooties".

"Man, it smells like something died!" Dib mumbled out, turning green as Zim was.

"And dookie! A LOT of it", Zim added, turning a dakrer shade of green in disgust. "I always thought a girl's bathroom would smell...nicer!"

They pushed open each stall, finding each one empty.

"She couldn't have come out, we'd have seen her", Dib spoke quietly, eyes narrowing with concern behind his glasses..

Zim then looked up towards the ceiling, he squinted, his eyes narrowing in interest. Using the mechanical legs from his PAK, Zim rose up towards the ceiling.

"Someone's been here", Zim muttered, dusting his finger across the top of the vent, "This ISN'T good".

"Of course it isn't! What was your first clue?" Dib asked angrily.

Zim looked over his shoulder at him, "We have to get back to the cruiser and find out what planet this is".

…

…

…

…Erin awoke a moment later, though WHERE she wasn't sure at first. She had been having odd dreams, reliving moments from her past like she was watching a movie at home on her couch…and getting the sneaking suspicion somebody was watching over her shoulder the whole time.

Well, as she opened her eyes, she found the reason WHY. Darth was standing over her, and he kind of creeped her out…as he was touching her hair, stroking it.

"You're very pretty", Darth said to her, complimenting her with a kind smile.

"Focus!" Tak snapped in his direction.

Erin looked around, she was in some sort of underground base. A much better one then what Zim had too, the technology wasn't all purple or magenta for starters, and there weren't any leaky pipes, pictures of little piggies (GIR'S handiwork) or cracked patches of paint on the walls. Tak was sitting in a computer chair to her left, looking VERY busy.

"I'm just saying!" Darth replied defensively, turning back to Tak and shrugging.

"Did you attach the snack pouch yet?" Tak asked.

"I had Felix do it. I AM blind ya know." Darth pointed out.

"You couldn't figure out how to do it yourself?" Tak inquired.

"I don't have to do EVERYTHING on my own." Darth remarked. "Besides, I've been…busy." He added, looking back down at Erin.

Erin noticed the snack pouch around her waist. It looked remarkably like a belt. It was clear and had small treats and bags of chips stuffed into it. She raised an eyebrow at the two Irkens.

"What's the pouch for? And what is going on?!" Erin asked, promptly glaring in Tak's direction.

Tak laughed. "Oh...you'll find out soon enough!"

"Uh...weren't we gonna use her as bait to lure Zim into a trap, so the Tallest could witness his destruction And then we were going to give her to the Tallest as an offering so they'll make you an Invader?" Darth asked. He then looked at Erin, and pointed downwards at the pouch. "They like snacks, that's what the pouch is for.", he added.

Tak just glared at him in annoyance, then let out a "snort", turning away.

"I heard that!" Darth snapped.

Felix walked over and looked Erin over with interest. "She's got pretty hair." He announced.

"Keep an eye on her for me, since I can't do it myself." Darth remarked, cracking a joke at his own expense. "Oh, but don't let her trick you into setting her free or anything."

"Not that you could escape from here anyhow." Tak remarked. "Darth might not know the planet's surface that well, but he DOES know the base inside and out since he helped me fix up most of the rooms. If you DID run…he'd find you wherever you're hiding…or MIMI would." She added, gesturing to the right as MIMI appeared, her red eyes glaring at Erin.

"Should we put duct tape over her mouth to keep her from complaining?" MIMI suggested, titling her head to the side.

"Hmm…" Tak grinned and patted MIMI's head. "You ARE a good girl, aren't you?"

"Oh dear." Erin gulped.

…

…

…

… "We're on Planet Dirt", Dib exclaimed looking over the cruiser's monitor.

"Why does that sound... so...familiar?" Zim asked under his breath and rubbing his chin.

"I see a ship!" GIR stated happily, pointing up and out the window.

Zim and Dib looked to see the surface opening up just over one hundred feet from them. An Irken first class dark purple cruiser was lifting off the ground. Tak was piloting it. Darth sat in the seat just beside her and Erin was tied up and was hidden from view just behind their seats. Felix and MIMI sat on either side of her, and duct tape was over her mouth to make sure she could neither speak nor scream.

"**Tak!**" Zim snarled, his fists clenching tightly.

The dark purple cruiser took off into the sky a moment later.

"Come on Zim, follow. Follow to your HORRIBLE DOOM!" Tak cackled happily.

Zim, Dib and GIR were right behind her only a few seconds later. Zim kept a good lock on Tak's cruiser so he wouldn't lose her. And once he got his bare hands on her, he was gonna make her **PAY **for kidnapping Erin.

**Review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

Nick and May stood in the center of a gazebo, with flowers strewn over the top in long garlands. There were Vortians standing all around, watching the scene unfold as a priest stood in front of the two. Nick rested his gloved claws on May's cheek, and she rested her hand on his as they nervously blushed. It was an important day for them.

"Barutashem elokinmech, holamshekol barahlicvec…" The priest read, his flowing, dark blue robes quivering in the wind that blew as clouds puffed by gently overhead. "Barytashem elokinmech holamtozer haddam…"

At last the words ended and the priest handed them both a bottle of some strange liquor. They downed the small bottle and then tossed it to the floor of the white gazebo, breaking them into little pieces, then kissing deeply. The crowd cheered happily…

They were married.

"So, how did you like the ceremony?" May asked Nick as they headed down the pathway of the park back to her home.

"I thought it was WEIRD." Nick admitted. "And the _vategel_ burnt my throat like somebody shot a hot coal down it…" He then lowered the veil over his mouth and smiled. "But I love you." He said, and that was reason enough to endure a thousand burns of the throat.

He kissed her long and deep then, and they were happy.

…

…

…

…it had been many years. Red and Purple were now Tallest. Spork had been eaten by the same Infinite Energy Absorbing Blob that had eaten Miyuki, and Nick was a communications officer on board the Massive.

But at the moment, he had other worries on his mind. "Aw, that's great! Kiss the kids for me, May." He said, smiling as he turned off the communications chip on the side of his head momentarily, hanging up the call. He then headed over to a warehouse and pressed an "Open" button. "Okay, back to work." He announced.

The warehouse door opened and Nick held up a clipboard. "Frontline Battle Mechs!" he announced. Red and Purple had asked him, since they were short-staffed, to take inventory of Warehouses 1-3. "Numbers one…two…three…fo-what the?" He blinked, then called out. "OY! Has anyone seen FRONTLINE BATTLE MECH #4?" He yelled out. "I'm supposed to bring it AAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!"

He gasped in horror then scuttled away on the ground for dear life JUST as "Frontline Battle Mech #4 came CLOMPING across the runway, past the Massive and the warehouses.

Dozens of ships were being blown to smithereens by the battle mech. People were scattering like flies around the thing. All of Irk was in fear as a madly-cackling Invader Zim sat in the cockpit…along with some operators…of the Frontline Battle Mech #4.

"Sir, we should stop!" The first operator spoke up.

"NO!" Zim snapped.

"But sir, we're still on our own planet!" Another operator begged.

Zim turned angrily on him. "Twist those knobs, twist those knobs! You!" He shouted, pointing with a clawed digit. "Pull some levers! PULL SOME LEVERS!" He chanted.

Meanwhile, the Tallest watched the whole ordeal unfold from a building's window. The carnage continued as people's screams echoed alongside of Zim's laughter.

"…I'm gonna remember this." Red said.

"Yeah, me too." Purple agreed.

Meanwhile…

"Okay, is the ship all ready?" Darth inquired.

The little form before him was a child with a very smooth body. He had no edges on his form, and large, cute eyes. His fingers and toes were like tiny sausages, his nose was like a dumpling and his hairy was very curly. He looked a lot like a cartoon character.

"It's all set, Uncle Darth!" Felix said. "Ha-HAP!" he saluted with his nubby hands. "The BINED is installed and I even painted the ship's interior bright blue like Miyuki's eyes were!"

"Ooh, I'm pleased." Darth announced. "At last, with the BINED, I will be able to see, if only through the ship's cameras." He grinned happily. "I'm proud of you, Felix. I was right to save you from that fire on Modius. You've been a good "nephew", even if you're not related to me by blood."

Felix squeaked happily and headed into the ship…

It was then that the "THUDDA-THUDDA-THUDDA" sound of Frontline Battle Mech #4 alerted Darth's attention, making his eyes widen. He turned his head and gasped in horror. "Oh NO-"

CRAAAASH!

It crashed right into his ship and a loud "OWWWW" could be heard from the wreckage as Zim cackled and continued to careen across the surface of Irk.

"…OKAY, **NOW** I'M MAD!" Darth howled.

"It's okay…I don't need all these internal organs anyhow…" Felix moaned out, raising up a finger.

…

…

…

…Nick tapped the communications chip on the side of his head after patching the Tallest's call through to Sizz-Lorr of Foodcourtia, letting him know that a delivery had to be made. He leaned back in his chair as he looked around the Massive's main deck.

Everyone ELSE was at a "No More Zim" party. Zim had been sent to Foodcourtia and everyone was getting ready for a party while NICK was expected to make sure the snacks arrived on time at Irk. Nick sighed deeply and stood up in the chair. He wanted to call May back, but he wasn't getting good reception to Vort from the inside of the Massive and he had to stay inside the ship.

"There's got to be SOMEWHERE in this ship that I can make a call. Somewhere I can say "Can you hear me now?...Good!"." He thought out loud. He blinked then. "Where did I hear that…Run? No, not that…Sprint, yeah, a Sprint commercial…wait, what does Sprint make?"

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever, I'll just search all through the ship until I find a place! How long can it take?"

…

…

…

… "Now…I know…why they call it…the Massive." Nick moaned out, holding his head and staggering around the halls of the ship. He'd been walking around for an HOUR and hadn't found a single place that had good reception…and he had a sinking feeling he was lost. He was CERTAIN he'd passed that same soda machine before.

He fell to his knees, groaning. "Soooo tiiiiired…" He mumbled. "Maybe a soda would help…"

He approached the soda machine and was about to get a nice orange soda when he noticed something…odd.

A crack…faint, but there, and behind the machine.

Carefully, Nick moved the soda machine to the side and saw that the crack was an outline for a hidden doorway. He opened it up and gasped at the sight…

It was an ancient-looking room with strange technology that he'd seen only once before…back at the lab at Research Station Nine on Vort. Going up to a small, circular-shaped gold thing, he looked down at a notepad.

"Scientist's Log 68723…gateway technology project a failure. The Tallest deem it only to be useful for powering soda machines, not in peering into other realms of existence…"

Nick noticed there were wires connected to the gold thing running into the walls, with one of them going into the soda machine outside. Curious, he reached out and touched the thing…

And it sparked with a white flame, opening up and showing…

A planet…none other than Irk. Nick was amazed. So amazed that without thinking he reached out and to those looking at the planet from IT'S point of view, it appeared as if a giant, gloved claw reached out from a swirling misty portal that had been ripped open in time and space. It glowed and touched the planet…

Nick felt a SPARK jump through him and he jumped back. He felt nervous…like he'd done something wrong.

And yet…he wanted to try it again. He could see the thing swirling, a new image appearing. It looked…pretty! And familiar too.

He reached out and-

TWHOOOOMP!

Suddenly the ground around him was shaking over a dark sky as people ran around, screaming as a pillar of blue, burning light shot up into the heavens. A howling, screaming siren could be heard, but even that didn't quiet the sobbing wails of those around him…hundreds upon hundreds of Irkens all trying to run.

"What's going on?!" He asked of one Irken who looked down at him, red eyes narrowing. He was rather big and had a nasty glare about him…

"The planet is going to BLOW!" He snapped. "Get out of my way!" He shoved Nick down and Nick groaned, rubbing his head.

It was then that it sank in. The planet…was going…to blow up.

IRK was blowing up!

It was like that movie he'd seen. Titan AE…what had the AE stood for? Something…something…After something…after…what on IRK had it stood-

Earth, that was it! Earth!

Holy Cow, he had to get OUT of there! He looked around, desperate. A horrid feeling of fear was rooting to the ground. He could see people carrying little smeets, fresh from the factories, towards ships in a desperate attempt to save the little one's lives. He felt sickened…what kind of monster would blow up a planet and allow so many innocents to die? And there were so many smeeting factories on Irk…

This was a genocidal action…this was a holocaust…and he was right in the middle of it. He sank to his knees, sobbing…

And he found himself right outside of the strange, golden thing, the tears still brimming in his eyes. He looked up just in time to see the entire planet break off into horrid chunks with an enormous rippling explosion. Pieces went flying here and there and Nick realized that somebody was SCREAMING and it was none other than HIM-

He couldn't take anymore! He decided to get out of the room and quickly moved the soda machine back to cover the thing up completely.

What Nick didn't know was that the other planet Irk, the one he'd seen before actually entering the gate, was unharmed of any sort of action…and even better off. It swirled along, it's first living beings sleeping at the moment…unaware that something had been placed within them…a tiny shred of True Power that would, one day, manifest itself...

And thus in that other reality did the Irken race become blessed by a human soul…blessed to become new Wonders of the Universe…

…

…

…

…Nick returned back to his station, shaking all over. It wasn't every day that you saw your other homeworld blown up into itty bitty chunks. He needed something to get his mind off of that horror…

He thought of May. And her son, Bo…Bo had talent…art talent. Nick grinned a little, happy tears coming to his eyes as he thought of Bo's hands moving across the paper, creating beautiful blends of colors. Didn't Bo have a birthday coming up?

He should get him something good. VERY good.

Wait! The Tallest always seemed to know where the best sorts of party stuff could be bought. Perhaps it was somewhere in their private files. It wouldn't hurt just to PEEK…

Nick quickly typed away at the computer console, easily hacking in. But as he peered into the files, he saw something that shocked him…journal entries…

Detailing the plans to take over more planets…Operation Impending Doom TWO…

Vort was on the list…and the plan was approved by Tallest Red and Purple.

_NO. _

It couldn't be. It COULDN'T…hadn't they given up on trying to take Vort in Impending Doom One after Zim had…?

_Not Vort._

But it was. They were going to take it over.

He had to DO something. He had to WARN them.

He shut down the computer and found himself tearing out of the main deck, out of the Massive and out onto the planet's surface. He ran and ran until he reached a place he felt he could call her safely and his gloved claws shook like mad as he pressed the communication's chip on the side of his head…

Sadly, Nick was unaware that he'd been CAUGHT by the ship's security systems. Now he was marked. Now they would know that he knew about Impending Doom Two.

And thus, the next day, Nick was tossed into the prison hold of the Massive…and he was told he would be judged for the charge of treason by the Tallest in a few hours.

"Why don't you people think for **yourselves**?" Nick muttered.

"The Tallest are the voice of the people." The guard remarked as he looked down at him. He turned away and left Nick in his cell as Nick folded his arms, stewing.

"Yeah, the voice of the people. Cuz they have all the MICROPHONES!" He yelled back. "Var Na Tishanti! KISGAREEEEE!" He swore. "YOU CAN'T KEEP ME IN HERE! I'LL GET OUT! I' SWEAR TO GOD ALMIGHTY I'LL GET OUT!"

A rifle butt to the face shut him up.

**Intense, huh? Review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

**------------------**

It was a bad situation all around. It was worse than...well...nothing was worse than this, being kidnapped and used as bait. Not even all the times she had followed Zim into the most dangerous of situations without question. It was her undying devotion to the Irken Empire…well…not the entire empire really. Just Zim and the Tallest.

Darth turned around, looking at her…okay, he didn't actually SEE her, but he could tell she was there. Reaching out from the passenger seat, he gently patted her cheek, then spoke softly. "Hmm. **Someone** has a crush on Tallest Red." Darth replied softly.

Erin groaned. It just got worse. He was now looking into her mind, like he had super powers or something, making her watch and look at things she remembered or had seen. He had been doing it before. She tried to think of something else. She didn't exactly want someone reading her mind, especially when there was things stored in there, secret memories and images.

"You just figured that out?" Tak asked, raising a non-existent eyebrow at him.

"You knew?" Darth asked, turning back around in his seat to look at his "partner in crime".

"Pfft. YEAH." Tak said in a "no duh" tone.

"Even your SIR Unit knows?" Darth asked.

"Yep", Mimi replied.

"Half of IRK knows." Tak remarked. "How come YOU don't?"

"Well considering I've spent the last few years of my life trying to fix up Felix so he could still live on in a SIR unit's body…PARDON MY AMAZEMENT." Darth hissed.

"It hurt. A lot." Felix remarked cheerfully.

Erin just rolled her eyes. She hopped Zim was coming up with some sort of plan.

…

…

…

…"Why couldn't I have built a toilet in the cruiser!" Zim exclaimed, banging his head on the console, "Sure we wouldn't have had toilet paper, but **still**!" He moaned.

"Are you feeling guilty?" Dib asked, a smile coming over his face.

"Nonsense! I feel nothing! NOTHING!" Zim snapped, pointing a finger up in the air, "But once I get my hands on Tak, SHE will be feeling something! Oh yes…" His eyes narrowed angrily. "She will feel my WRAAAATH! SO MUCH WRATH!", he added clenching his fists.

Dib looked at him, "Umm…okaaaaay then. Look, if we're going to get Erin back, we need a plan. And it has to be a plan which doesn't involve destroying Tak's ship…until after our rescue mission is completed, anyhow!" He explained.

"We just need to know what Tak is planning", Zim replied drumming his fingers against the console, "UGH! If only Erin were here. I could think properly!"

Dib took a deep sigh and put his hand against his forehead. He then turned to Zim.

"EARTH TO ZIM! If Erin were here, right now, we WOULDN'T be in this mess!" Dib pointed out.

Zim just blinked as he stared at him.

"You like her don't you?" He asked smirking and then his expression changed into a glare. And if anyone had seen it, they'd have died, "Well DON'T get ANY ideas Dib! She's mine!"

Dib put his fingers to the bridge of his nose, pinching it in irritation. Trying to get Zim to focus was going to be hard. His mind was in the right mind set like it always was but there seemed to be a little piece of him that was thinking about…other stuff.

Like, say, launching chickens into space. Dib still had no idea why Zim did that.

…

…

…

…The Massive was exactly about fifteen minutes from the two cruisers. In fact, it couldn't have been more perfect timing. The Tallest were watching the view screen, it was off but none of the deck crew were going to tell them this.

"So…why are we checking up on Zim again?" Purple asked.

"Because." Red stated in a matter of fact tone.

"Becaaaaause…why?" Purple asked, raising a non-existent eyebrow up.

"Because I said so. That's why!" Red replied.

"Remember that time I said we were going to Foodcourtia and you asked me why, and I said it was because I was hungry. Well...are we checking in on Zim because you're worried about Erin?" Purple asked.

Red gaped at him, "Where…where would you get an idea like that?" He asked, laughing slightly.

Before Purple could answer him, one of the communications officers turned in his seat.

"Sirs, we're picking up an unidentified life form." the officer exclaimed, eyes widening.

"Turn the viewing screen on then!" Red ordered.

The viewing screen turned on. A big glowing green thing was just floating there.

"Hey, isn't that thing that Zim made? It makes things slow down and fast forward…" Purple said, rolling his hand in mid air. "It made him explode and stuff before, right?"

"Ah, yes, good times. It's a …" Red rubbed his chin, then remembered what he was thinking of. "A variable time stasis field!" Red explained, pointing upwards.

"I wonder what it's doing **here**?" Purple asked, scratching his head.

…

…

…

…Tak smirked as she propelled the cruiser faster in that direction.

"Get ready, I'm going to pull right up beside the Massive", Tak replied to Darth, "The sooner we give her to the Tallest, the sooner we can destroy Zim". She added cheerfully. She looked over at Erin, who was obviously nervous and frightened. Most would have felt even a SMALL amount of pity for the poor girl, but Tak shrugged that feeling off. Seeing Dib and Zim suffer was paramount to anything else.

Darth nodded. About fifteen minutes later, the cruiser pulled up beside the giant Irken ship. The bubble shield flipped up. Darth and Felix carried Erin out. There was a small snack bin, that had been emptied some time ago, that was a perfect fit. They dropped Erin into it. It would be about five minutes for her to be discovered, only because that particular bin...went to the bridge.

"I'm really sorry", Darth said, gently taking her hand and giving her an apologetic look, his unseeing white eyes somehow displaying a genuine feeling of remorse, "I have no hard feelings towards you. This is simply needed for Zim's death, for all he's done to me and to the ones I cared for."

"DARTH! Hurry up!" Tak shouted. "Don't go all SOFT on me!"

Darth promptly shut the lid with Felix's help, leaving Erin laying on her side and in the dark.

…

…

…

…"Red, you want some doughnuts?" Purple asked getting up from his seat.

He walked over and opened up the bin's lid. Erin rolled out onto the floor about a second later.

"What the-", Purple stated, clutching his chest and looking like someone had jumped out at him.

Red came over and stood beside his co-tallest, seeing what had made him flinch. Red's eyes fell to the floor where Erin was laying, bound and mouth duct taped. Her eyes stared back up at him, her cheeks flushing a bright pink almost at once. Red leaned down and gently took the duct tape off her mouth. He smirked at her.

"Thanks." She said softly, feeling safe once again.

**Review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

Nick lay in the cell, calmly scratching his gloved claws against the wall.

He was never going to see May again, he realized. It had been two hours and the Tallest would be here any second. He was going to die, he was going to be shoved out of an airlock or shot out a cannon or…

May…Bo…Ian…

He would never see them again. His wife. His children. He hadn't even-

Nick sank to his knees and curled up slightly, his head buried in his knees as tears fell down onto his pants. They came so naturally and would not stop…

He had never thought it would end like this. He had not pictured it, not once. It had always been a happy ending in his mind. Marriage…children…a nice house…being a good father and raising his children right…being somebody who could say he left behind something good in the universe, that was what you were supposed to do, right? Leave behind a good legacy?

How could he do that if he was stuck in here?

Then they came and looked him over…Tallest Red and Purple.

Nick didn't say anything. He kept himself curled up, head buried in knees.

"So you know about Impending Doom II?" Red spoke quietly.

"…yes…I do."

He did not say "My Tallest". They were not his leaders. The only person in Irken culture he had looked up as a leader figure had been Miyuki, and she had been as a big sister. And Spork, for all his flaws, had been like a big brother. He had understood him. Red and Purple were just…good acquaintances. And he had WANTED to think highly of them.

And he had been close. He had almost grown to love them. But they were willing to sacrifice Vort.

Nick could not forgive that.

"Do you know WHY you're in here?" Red inquired.

"You want to keep it a secret." Nick remarked. "Because you've been dropping hints to the Vortians that you would be resuming diplomatic talks. They had thought you'd leave them alone."

"Those people are responsible for Tallest Miyuki's death." Purple remarked. "She was very important to the Irken empire, y'know!"

"It WASN'T the Vortians!" Nick growled. "Do you REALLY think they're-"

"We don't KNOW who exactly did it." Red admitted. "But they seem likely…and the empire needs a scapegoat."

Nick's eyes slowly turned to glare at them. They burned brightly, green glaring at red and purple.

"What…you are DOING…is **WRONG**…" Nick growled.

"You're going to get over it. As Tallest, we order you to." Red remarked, pointing at him.

And then it happened. Any shred of Irkenness that had been inside Nick was suddenly BLOWN into little pieces by the pure, raw rage of a human being who had family that was being threatened.

"YOU CAN'T TELL A HUMAN BEING WHAT TO DO YOU ALIEN FILTH!" Nick yelled, claws clenching…

And it was VERY unfortunate that they'd walked inside the cell and that the door was open, because before they knew it Nick had ducked and rolled right out of the cell and had taken off down the hallway.

"Jeepers, he's FAST. What did he mean by hee-yu-man?" Purple inquird.

"…send in the guards." Red spoke to the communicator on his wrist after shrugging, not sure of what the communications officer had meant. "We've got a runner here…"

…

…

…

…Nick looked around as he stood in the dark hold of the ship. The purple walls throbbed with machinery humming away inside whilst the silver floor reflected his eyes that had such deep, tragic sorrow in them. He looked down at the communications console in the hold and pressed the red button to clear the line to the number he needed…the house on Vort…May and his home.

And he sang into it.

_**Liiiisten…closely May…**_

_**This line…may not…be safe!**_

_**I…have been betrayed…**_

_**And I…must leave…todaaaaay...**_

_**Where I…cannot say…**_

_**But it must be far…awaaaaay…**_

_**Maybe to…some…foreign state…**_

_**Where no one…knooows…my faaaace!**_

_**And May! Take care of the kids!**_

_**Tell 'em I love 'em! **_

_**I'll send you some cash when I can!**_

_**I know…this is no kinda life!**_

_**But you gotta be strong…**_

_**When you're a…fuuuuugitive's wife!**_

He took in a deep breath and looked to the side, over at various racks of weapons. Taking a rifle, his favorite, he held it in his arms.

How often he'd used these…how WELL he'd shot with it…and so many times he'd done it to protect her, to get to May to keep her and her children safe.

He knew the communication line was still open. He sighed deeply and continued.

_**I'm calling from…the hold!**_

_**And no, I can't…come…hooooome!**_

He pictured her face, then…and he caressed her cheek, caressing the air as he smiled gently, blushing, picturing her beautiful pink eyes.

_**This…is not…goodbye!**_

_**I love you…more…than liiiiiife!**_

_**And May! Take care of the kids!**_

_**Tell 'em I love 'em! **_

_**I'll send you some cash when I can!**_

_**I know…this is no kinda life!**_

_**But you gotta be strong…**_

_**When you're a…fuuuuugitive's wife!**_

He then blinked. The machinery in the walls…there was no more humming. Something was wrong.

_**Something…is not right…**_

_**This place…is much…too QUIET!**_

He rushed to the doorways and tried to open them by placing his clawed gloves on the keypad…but they were shut down…LOCKED.

_**The hallways locked…up tight!**_

_**There's not…one soul…in siiiiight!**_

He bit his lip, holding up the rifle, a sinking feeling entering him. He knew deep down in his heart what was going to come…

_**And May! Take care of the kids!**_

_**Tell 'em I love 'em! **_

_**I'll send you some cash when I can!**_

_**I know…this is no kinda life!**_

_**But you gotta be strong…**_

_**When you're a…fuuuuugitive's wife!**_

The elevator door across from him opened…they came out…so many…

_**And May! They've got me in sight! **_

_**It's at least twenty-five…**_

_**It's down to a fight or a flight…**_

He aimed the rifle…

He thought of her…

The tears filled his eyes once again, burning and hot, angry and sorrowful, knowing he might never see her or the children…

He rushed forward.

_**Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…**_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Review. That is all I wish to say. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen  
- - - - - - - -**

Erin tried to stay as still as possible as Red untied her hands and ankles. And she tried not to fall over as he helped her up a second later. In her head her mind was screaming: ZIM'S IN TROUBLE! STAY FOCUSED! But unfortunately...she was too distracted. Erin stood before the Tallest. Although…she was feeling slightly weak kneed standing before Tallest Red.  
Purple was busy examining the snack pouch that she was still wearing, as he had noticed a bag of chips inside the belt.

"Pur, she's not a vending machine", Red pointed out, frowning slightly.

"Oh…" Erin exclaimed at once, she looked down at the snack pouch. Which...she had forgotten she was still wearing it. She unbuckled the belt and handed it to Purple, "Here, you can have it!" She remarked.

"Gee, thanks Erin!" Purple replied happily and then went to sit down, as he started opening it.

Red turned back to Erin. Though, they tried to look any where else but at each other....which was rather hard.

"So…uh…do you wanna get a soda?" Red asked.

"Okay", Erin replied.

"Hey! Weren't we trying to figure out what that Time…Variable…Space…Field…Thing was doing just floating there?" Purple asked, looking up from the snacks he was eating and blinking his purple eyes.

But unfortunately Red and Erin had left the bridge and hadn't heard him.

"…why am I not surprised?" Purple decided out loud.

…

…

…

…Zim's Voot Cruiser was coming closer to the Variable Time Stasis Field. Zim, naturally, had noticed this death trap and tried to fly around it but the cruiser seem unable to break free of it's gravitational pull, and slowly but surely was being pulled towards a variably HORRIBLE doom! With them in it!

"What the heck is wrong now?" Dib asked, noticing Zim pushing the buttons on the console.

"The cruiser is being sucked into that Time Stasis Field, THAT'S what, Dib-stink!" Zim exclaimed, eyes narrowing angrily.

"Isn't that the explodey thing that made you explode?" GIR asked, pointing at the green ball.

"Yes! And unfortunately we could be blown to pieces if we get sucked into it!" Zim replied, biting his lip in frustration.

**SFX: French Voice:** **TWO…SECONDS…LATER…**

"This CAN'T get any worse", Dib remarked, folding his arms and frowning deeply.

The cruiser was stuck inside the Time Stasis Field. They were being knocked left and right around the cruiser as GIR screamed happily and Zim tore at his antennae, howling in pain while Dib's glasses knocked around, bouncing here and there almost as quickly and with as much fervor as GIR's body.

…

…

…

…"Yes, our planned worked!" Tak said cheerfully. "I can die happy now!" She admitted.

"Wonderful!" Darth replied, clasping his gloved claws together. "Now let's call the Tallest and tell them we have Zim trapped!" He added, nodding eagerly.

Tak smirked as she punched in the transmission code, which the Tallest had designated to be 1…2…3…4…5.

…which was stupid. The same sort of code an idiot puts on his luggage lock.

…

…

…

…"Sir, we have an in-coming transmission on that channel who's code is the same as your luggage lock." the communication officer said, turning around.

"Urh du ewuh uh." Purple said, stuffing a doughnut into his mouth.

"Huh?"

"Tuh dah ewah ohn."

"Huh?"

"TURN THE VIEWER ON." Purple said, finishing the doughnut by swallowing it down, half-finished. HOO boy, he'd feel THAT in the morning.

Tak came on the screen a moment later, grinning proudly with MIMI on her shoulder and Darth and Felix to the right.

"My Tallest, I have…hey…wait! Where is the other Tallest?" Tak asked, blinking in surprise.

Purple and the deck crew looked around the floor and around the bridge.

"Uh…" Purple trailed off, his mouth full of another doughnut. "Well…you see…er…"

**BGM: Crickets chirp**

And then it happened. That perfect moment in which all maledom unites for a single reason. The "Synchronized Guy Lie".

"Well you see, Tallest Purple was hungry." The first communications officer said.

"And so Tallest Red got him a bunch of doughnuts." Another spoke up.

"But now Tallest Purple is THIRSTY." A guard said.

"And there's no soda machines on THIS part of the ship." Another remarked.

"So Red went to go get me a soda. I told him I want an orange soda." Purple spoke. "And that's why he's not here." He finished, shrugging.

"…he and Erin are making out, aren't they?" Darth inquired.

Purple sighed and looked over at a communications officer. They flicked on a holo-vid screen that showed off Red and Erin. The two kissed each other gently. They were in a room with very dimmed lights...it was kind of a romantic setting. Their sodas sat untouched on a nearby table and Red was ever-so-gently removing Erin's clothes and soon everyone would see her bra in three…two…one…

**SFX: Siren**

"…BIG time." Purple remarked, eyes going wide as the holo-vid screen was shut off a moment later.

…

…

…

… Red was now looking at Erin, and both were now VERY close to each other. Red calmly raised the soda up…it was now in a fine crystal glass. "So then what happened?"

"Then he placed me in a snack bin and I ended up with you." Erin explained.

"Wow…quite the story." Red admitted. He smiled at her. "You know, I'm glad you feel you can talk to me about this."

"Yeah, you know, Zim and Dib shrug this sorta thing off, to them, it's like…" She struggled to find the right words. "…like an occupational hazard or something! It can be hard to talk to them."

"So Darth actually went inside your HEAD?" Red inquired. "Hmm. Tell me…" He grinned a little. "What did he see?" He asked softly, gently holding her cheek.

"Nothing you don't know already, silly." Erin said gently.

But the truth was, he'd seen a LOT more than what he already knew. He'd looked her over and had not just seen right INTO her, but THROUGH her. There hadn't been any defense at all, and she had felt so…violated, so…FRIGHTENED.

"I was scared." She admitted quietly. "I started to think about losing Zim and Dib…I started to think about losing YOU…" She looked up into his eyes, crying a little.

"It was like my heart was breaking." She whimpered, crying into his chest.

He gently held her close, patting her back. "Erin…" He said quietly, softly. "I can fix that."

He kissed her deeply then…and that was it. She was not afraid, she was not unhappy, she was no longer anxious or worried…there was a simple bliss going through her.

She was safe.

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	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

He had fought for a long time. He had fired over and over, shooting legs and shoulders and arms to disable his attackers over and over. His aim had been straight and true, but slowly but surely he was being picked apart, piece by piece. Chunk after chunk was being knocked off his body by their guns. He was running out of time.

But thankfully…somebody was running towards where HE was…and it was then that all of his attacker's eyes turned white…

And they lowered their guns. Nick gaped as Invader Darth stepped into the room, looking proud of himself.

"DARTH?" Nick gaped.

"You'll have to excuse me for not being here sooner." He apologized, bowing his head. He gestured to the right with a claw and Mar waved cheerfully as she held onto a large, burly guard, keeping him in stasis cuffs. "That guard's name is Haid. About ten minutes ago he was convinced that blindly following the Tallest's orders was justification for enslavement on a global scale. I had a little TALK inside his head and I've helped him realize the destructive inconsistencies and contradictions in his thinking, as I'm now doing for these Irkens."

"It's true…I don't know WHAT I've been doing with ym life." Haid announced in a thick, dumb tone. "Maybe I should work with handicapped Vortians…"

Darth smirked. "I have to TOUCH non-Irkens to go into their heads, but manifesting my control over Irkens is REMARKABLY easy. I could take over the entire Irken Empire. I could MAKE them think I am Tallest."

"But will you?"

Darth rubbed his chin. "…no." He decided. "I'm not interested in that. But I would like to know how these powers appeared in me." He flicked one claw and the Irkens who had been firing at Nick shuffled to the side, then stood in a line, doing a "Rockette" imitation. "I got THAT idea from YOUR head. So those tales about being "human" are true." He smiled. "You're interesting."

"Did you ever take control of ME?" Nick asked accusingly.

Darth tapped his lip, thinking.

YEARS AGO AND BACK ON VORT…

Nick was asleep along with several other Irkens. He was snoozing and snoring away, holding up a long pole that several Irkens were doing the limbo under as Darth calmly sat on top of a chair, watching them go under the pole, occasionally bouncing their heads off the pole.

"Uh-uh-uh!" he said, waving a claw in the air. "Limbo LOWER now."

PRESENT…

"…nope." He lied. "I'll find good use for this power though. In the meantime, I suggest you get to Vort and find a safe place for you and your family."

"Yeah, they'd better run, run, run!" Mar agreed, nodding her head.

"How am I going to get past the guards, get to the ship and take off without them noticing?"

Darth smirked. He raised up his gloved hands. "Simple. We make them look RIGHT when they should be looking LEFT…and I'll make sure they…conveniently forget about your outbursts before. As far as the records will show, you were an exemplary communications officer who sadly perished in the line of combat."

"How did you find out about me blowing up at the Tallest?" Nick asked.

Mar grinned and held up a remote. "I hacked into the Security Cameras!"

"You're GOOOOOD." Nick complimented.

Mar grinned broadly. "You know it!"

…

…

…

…packing up and moving from your home isn't as easy as it sounds.

They weren't just being forced to leave their house, but their home planet. It was big. It was…shocking. But it was what would keep them safe.

Nick pressed a small black switch and the Spittle Runner he'd brought to the planet opened up it's hood. "I'm glad you're…you're coming with me." He said, gently stroking May's face. "We'll find somewhere nice to live, I promise." He assured her.

"Will there be a home on this planet we're going to?" She asked.

Nick nodded as they climbed inside, the last of the luggage in the Spittle Runner. "Yes." Nick said, nodding happily. "I think you'll like this place."

"What's the name?" May wanted to know.

Nick grinned broadly. "EARTH."

Meanwhile, at Foodcourtia, Darth smirked, deciding he was going to use his power to good use. Sizz-Lorr nodded approvingly as Darth approached Zim and raised his hand up. "Hey!" The blind Irken called out happily as Felix held up a video camera. "Who wants to see Zim **NAKED**?"

…

…

…

…the landing had been perfect. The welcoming committee though, had not been in the plans.

Nick had unfortunately landed in the wrong place…the WORST place. He'd thought the forest was secluded. He'd touched down the Spittle Runner in a clearing. Instead he had found he, May, Ian and Bo surrounded by people in dark outfits with sunglasses or red contacts that made their eyes glow.

They were herded into a dark facility and Nick clung to May for dear life as they moved down long, dimly lit hallways to a central hall.

There they saw a half-circle table with a man behind it, hands clasped together, looking them over intently.

"Well-well. We've never had specimens come this close to the Swollen Eyeball Network before." The Man in Blue said. He had a blue cloaked jacket with blue pants and white sneakers, with green, brightly lit eyes and curly/wavy hair that had a large bald spot at the front, making him look a bit like Billy Crysal. He had a patchy, "puberty beard" style moustache and beard combination and was looking at the tallest of them…Nick. "Who are you?"

"…Nick…this is my wife, May Nar, and her children, Bo and Ian. We are Vortians. You're going to do something nasty to us, aren't you?"

The Man in Blue smirked a little. "Smart, aren't you? But this depends on your definition of "nasty"."

"I think that picking us apart like science experiments is nasty." May spoke up.

"Oh we won't pick your bodies apart. But…it WILL be interesting to examine your minds. Place them in the holding cells and prepare them for the mental scanners." The Man in Blue ordered. "I want to know ALL about their alien culture…"

"You won't hurt my family, will you?" Nick asked quietly.

"Hmm. That depends. If we learn what we want to learn about Vortian culture, we will let you go unharmed." The Man In Blue remarked, flicking one finger. May and her children were herded away by the other humans of the Swollen Eyeball Network. The MIB then looked right at Nick.

"YOU'RE not of the same species though. You have a different bone structure and eye design. What is YOUR species?"

"…I…I can't tell you…how do I know you'll let my family go?"

"You do not." The MIB remarked, shrugging. "But I will learn what I want to learn from you one way or another. Now…" He raised himself up and held a gun up. "You're going to join your wife and kids. Get moving."

Nick frowned deeply as he was moved through the hallway towards the same cell his family was within. As the door opened and he was herded inside, he looked at May's pink eyes and saw that Ian and Bo were asleep. She was clinging closely, cuddling them tightly as she could and singing softly to keep them calm and asleep.

"It'll be alright." Nick said gently, going over to her and holding her hand. "I'll get us out of here."

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	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

---------------------

When Erin and Red returned to the bridge, they acted as though nothing had happened. But they got some stares from the entire deck crew and Purple. And from Tak and Darth, who were up on the view screen.

"What?" Red asked.

"I think you know what." Purple replied raising a non-existent eyebrow at him and folding his arms.

"My Tallest, Darth and I have something very important to show you", Tak interjected.

Red and Purple turned to look at the view screen. Tak had finally gotten their full attention. Which was good because her patience was wearing verrrrry thin.

"Behold, the Time Stasis Variable Field with Zim trapped in it!" Tak enthusiastically proclaimed, sweeping her arm.

The screen turned over to show Zim, GIR and Dib trapped in the cruiser while trapped in the Time Stasis Variable Field. Erin couldn't believe it.

"Wow…that's amazing!" Purple said.

"Huh, well…I didn't expect this!" Red admitted.

"Oh, I don't think you expected very much, huh?" Purple asked smirking at him.

Red glared at him, frowning. "Heyyyyy! What are you talking about?"

Tak and Darth were back on the view screen. Darth turned in Erin's direction, non-existent eyebrows raised.

"I guess you have no plans to go back to Earth, huh?" He asked calmly, spreading his hands open. "Well...not anymore anyway." He added, shrugging. "

Erin blushed furiously. She KNEW what he was talking about. "We're just frie-"

EVERYONE looked at Erin. EVERYONE. Even Dib, Zim and GIR looked in her direction and they weren't even on the viewing screen.

"…okay, maybe more than just friends." Erin defended.

"Oh, enough of this rubbish!" Tak said in her vaguely British accent. "I'm getting rid of Zim once and for all!" Tak muttered and started pushing buttons on the console "I've got him, my pretty, and his little dog too!"

"OUCH. That was painful." Felix remarked, covering his mouth with his nubby hands.

Erin frowned slightly at this. She **couldn't** let Zim, Dib or Gir be destroyed. She **WOULDN'T** let them be destroyed! She rushed forward and pushed one of the Irkens out of their seats with a "Sorry for this". Sitting in the seat, she managed to lock into Zim's cruiser. She passed her finger across the different keys.

"I hope this works…" She replied, looking at the viewing screen.

…

…

…

…Zim, Dib and GIR were upright again. Zim felt rather sick from being thrown around like a rag doll. GIR was still floating around though, as he liked it. Dib was clutching his stomach.

"Oh GOD, no more, I've got nothing left to throw up but my-"

Luckily before that comment could be rated "R", The lights on the cruiser turned on!

"What's going on?" Dib asked, blinking in surprise.

"The cruiser's turned itself ON…**some**how…" Zim muttered.

The cruiser gave a giant jolt as the engines flared up. They were passing right through the Time Stasis Field and coming out the other side. They were out of harm's way.

…

…

…

…Tak pushed a button on the console in front of her. The Time Stasis Field exploded a good twenty seconds later. She smirked happily and turned the screen on to see if there was anything left. Apparently there wasn't.

"No-more-Zim." She chuckled, rubbing her hands together.

Felix shook his head. "Nope."

Tak blinked. "Nope?"

"Apparently she saved him". Darth remarked.

"WHAT?!" Tak asked.

"Mistress is maaaaaad." MIMI remarked, stepping back.

…

…

…

…Erin grinned to herself as she got up from the console seat and walked back over to the Tallest.

"That'll teach Tak to mess with ME!" Erin replied.

Red looked at her, "What exactly did you DO?"

"Oh, I just took control of Zim's cruiser and drove it out of the Time Stasis Field. That thing is like a big ball of jello!" Erin remarked, grinning proudly and folding her arms. "One can go right through the thing!" Erin explained.

Purple turned to look at them. He was trying not to laugh.

"What is your _problem_?" Red asked him.

"Oh…NOTHIN'." Purple said smirking. "Say…what KIND of jello?" He asked.

"…blurpleberry." Erin decided to say.

…

…

…

…Zim was able to fly his cruiser around and face Tak. "Time for a little pay back Zim muttered darkly. "Hang onto your seat, Dib-stink…and TAK better hold onto her vital organs!"

"They're gonna go aaaaaall over!" GIR remarked, spreading his arms wide and moving them up and down to show the length they would explode.

"I'm gonna PUKE all over if I DON'T sit down." Dib agreed.

"Ohhhhh **dooky**." Tak remarked as she quickly manned the controls.

"Well THIS is interesting." Darth remarked, scratching the side of his head.

"Can't you just take control of Zim and have him KILL himself?!" Tak snapped.

Darth frowned. "Where's the fun in THAT?" He remarked. "Ooh, and he's a-FIRIN HIS LAZ0R."

"Huh?" Tak remarked, blinking stupidly.

BOOM! A laser blasted the shielding she had on the left side of the ship, making it rock back and forth. Felix moaned as he helped Darth back up from the floor of Tak's ship as her eyes narrowed. "Like I said…he's a-FIRIN' HIS LAZ0R." Darth commented.

"SHUT UP AND HELP ME KILL HIM!" Tak snapped.

"Well…I could do THIS." Darth remarked, stretching out one gloved hand.

Zim blinked, then began to slap himself all over. "Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself!" Darth laughed evilly, white eyes blazing.

Dib, however, had some skill with Irken ships. He took the helm and pressed two buttons on the control panel, launching missiles straight at Tak's ship. She dodged to the side, firing HER lasers, and Dib barely managed to get the ship out of the way.

GIR, meanwhile, was hitting HIMSELF, imitating Zim.

"GET…OUT…OF…ZIM'S…HEAD!" Zim yelled.

Dib turned to look back at Zim. "Hmm. Help Zim…or blow up Tak." He frowned. "…no brainer!" He decided, turning back to the controls and unleashing screaming lasery doom.

Tak barrel-rolled as Dib flew the ship after her's. "Darth, if you don't think it's fun to have Zim kill HIMSELF…have Zim take CARE of that annoying, big-headed meddler DIB!"

Darth blinked, then turned around and twitched his gloved claws. "Very well." He remarked, issuing FULL control over Zim.

Zim's eyes glowed white as he lurched towards Dib, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him around. "Like Erin, I've no grudge against you." Darth spoke through Zim's body, raising up one possessed hand and patting Dib gently on the cheek in a fashion that was comforting, yet chillingly creepy as well. "But this is necessary for Zim's death…"

Then Zim/Darth blinked. "…WOW, your head really IS big up close. How'd you GET it like that?" He asked inquisitively, feeling all over Dib's head.

Dib punched Zim/Darth's face and the possessed Zim was knocked unconscious. "I've wanted to do that for YEARS." Dib said happily. "Hey GIR, make sure Zim won't get up anytime soon and I'll…" He rubbed his chin. "**_I'll Make you biscuits when we get back!_**"

"**YAAAAAY!**" GIR cheered, producing a frying pan that, for SOME odd reason, he'd left in his head. Zim groaned and rubbed his head.

"What happened to me?"

"Stuff like this." GIR said cheerfully, frying pan raised.

**DONK**!

Zim hit the floor, this time staying unconscious for at LEAST ten minutes. Dib flexed his fingers and got back to the console. "Alright Tak…you took your best shot…now you're gonna find out the natural result of what happens when alien species try to screw around with HUMANS!"

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	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

Nick did not like having people poke around inside his head.

He'd been strapped to a slab-like table and had been pulled into a CAT scan-type machine which had methodically tried to figure out every single thought he'd ever had since birth. The problem had come with trying to sort Irken memories from HUMAN ones. There was a treasure trove of information on the Irken empire in Nick's head, which he would have preferred them not to see.

It was as if he was standing in the middle of a long bridge, and watching his life story on an IMAX screen all around him…bit by bit the images were being stripped away to reveal nothing but white…sucked up into the abyss above.

"STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD!" Nick yelled. "YOU…YOU FREAKS!"

"Freak? Have you looked in a mirror lately?" One of the agents coldly remarked as soon as the process had finished. He was rudely tossed back into his cell and he moaned as May, Ian and Bo helped him back up.

"Did they already do you?" He asked. "My mind is all…fuzzy." He blinked. "I…I remember EVERYTHING though…" He realized. "I remember my birthday. The flavor of the cake's icing…I remember Christmas and…Harrison Ford! HARRISON Ford!" Nick remarked.

"Honey, have your mental breakdown later, we've GOT to get out of here." May insisted.

Nick nodded, getting up. "You're right, you're right."

He looked around their cell. It was a plain thing with stone walls, a single windowed door leading to the hallways outside…

The walls. There MIGHT have been a secret way out.

"Check the walls." Nick suggested. "A place like this HAS to have secret trapdoors and stuff, just in case the agents here were every thrown in their own jail!"

Bo and Ian took the left wall while May took the right, and Nick felt the back. They moved their hands all around, but couldn't find so much as a CRACK. Nick frowned angrily and sank to his knees, holding his head.

"I'm supposed to protect you and cherish you. Look what I've done instead…gotten us locked up by alien-hunting lunatics!" He remarked quietly.

The door opened and the Man in Blue stood there with a goateed man behind him. "Should we nab one of the kids for this?"

"No, they wouldn't know anything useful and I doubt their minds could handle the experience. Take the mother." The MIB ordered.

"Don't you DARE try to take me away from my children!" May growled.

"You're only making this harder on-" The agent began, stepping forward.

THWURKA!

A good headbutting knocked the agent clear through the air and he groaned as the Man in Blue caught him and frowned, holding up his gun. "This gun has SIX good reasons for why you should come with me." He remarked. "But really…"

He aimed it at the kids. "It only needs two. Or perhaps…"

He aimed it now at NICK. "One."

May's eyes went wide with horror and she immediately shrank. "…I'll…come with you." She sobbed quietly.

"I thought you would. Now get moving, c'mon, this won't take longer than an hour." The Man in Blue said simply, leading her out of the cell. "Agent Darkbooty, make sure those aliens don't leave the cell and guard that door."

"Yes sir." Agent Darkbooty agreed, nodding his head.

Meanwhile, Nick was on his back, looking up at the plain ceiling. His eyes blinked slowly, sadly…

How could they get out of here, he wondered. HOW?

It was then that he saw it…the chance to escape. UP.

"THAT." He realized, pointing upward. There was an unmistakable RING shaped crack in the ceiling. "Kids, talk QUIETLY." He whispered. "See that?"

Ian and Bo looked up. "Oh, yeah…that must be some kinda elevator." Bo reasoned.

"If we stood on your shoulders, I think we could reach it." Ian went on.

Nick nodded and helped Ian onto his shoulders, since he was biggest, then lifted Bo up. Bo stood on his brother's shoulders and reached up to the ring-shaped crack as Nick grit his teeth. "You…two…gotta lay…off the snacky cakes." He mumbled out.

CRACK!

"Got-"

THWONK!

A large, capsule-shaped shaft fell down on them all and they moaned. "…it…"

"Yeah, we got it, alright…" Nick mumbled, rubbing his head as he and his kids crawled out from the capsule. He looked it over…it was an odd thing, with a keypad on it's side and a dark blue/black paintjob…and a small antenna on the top.

"A thought-based teleporter capsule!" Ian whispered. "There might be one in ALL the cells. Ingenious!"

"These guys are more tech savvy than I thought." Nick realized. "Okay then, how does it work?"

"We think of our location and it beams us there." Ian went on.

Nick rubbed his gloved hands together, grinning. "Well then, let's get started! We've got to save May and stop the Man in Blue from picking her mind apart!"

…

…

…

… May gulped nervously as they strapped her to the table and prepared to push her into the machine. "Now relax, this won't hurt." The Man in Blue remarked, standing at the control console for the machine. "Well, at least it won't for the first ten minutes…then it feels like somebody's stabbing your brain with a spork." He frowned. "Rather painful, really."

SCHWOOMP!

SCHWOOMP!

SCHWOOMP!

Those "SCHWMOOP" sounds you hear are the sounds of three alien life forms directly teleporting just above the Man in Blue and the two agents he had with him. Agents Nessie and Yeti were quickly brought down by a double "Spin Blossom Nut Squash" while Nick promptly punched the Man in Blue so hard across the face that-

"You **bwah** my **node**, you fuddin ally-yun!" The Man in Blue complained, holding his broken nose as Nick patted Bo and Ian on the head.

"Good boys. You remember what I taught you when fighting bad guys!"

"The nards are fair game?"

_"The nards are fair game."_ Nick agreed, nodding his head. He then ran to May and broke her out of the slab-like table she was on and thrust down the veil over his mouth, kissing her deeply. "Whaddya say we blow this popsicle stand and go somewhere nicer…"

"You bwah my NODE!"

"Shut up or it'll be "Mah cwotch, my cwotch, oo 'unched ee in da cwotch"." Nick snapped, leading his family out of the doorway, down the long hallways. "Luckily they took our ship. More luckily, I know WHERE they brought it…"

He pointed down the hallway at a sign that read "Alien Technology Examination Room". They made a right turn and kicked the door down, seeing that their ship was located in the middle of a large dance-hall-esque place with many different kinds of alien technology located on shelves all around.

"Hey, look!" May remarked, pointing to the right. "That's an Irken escape pod." She blinked, approaching it and looking inside. Bo approached the ship as well as Ian and May looked through the computer files on the ship. "It's been on FIRE, but it looks like they managed to salvage it pretty well despite it being not much more than a rusted HULK now-OH!" She gasped. "The last one on board was someone from Plurtal!"

"An **Arosean**?" Nick blinked. "But the Aroses were pretty much wiped OUT by the Dune Elites…that's in the Irken history books." He rubbed his chin. "One of them is HERE?! On Earth? Where did it crash?"

When May accessed the files as to WHERE it had crashed, Nick's eyes went wide. So **close** to his home town…

An ally of the Irken empire. On Earth. Nick began to think about what he knew of the Aroses race and began to put two and two together.

Already unusual things had been happening since that green-skinned kid Zim had appeared in the neighborhood. Life had been KINDA weird with Dib Membrane, but then things had gotten STRANGER still when Zim had shown up.

He knew Zim was an alien. He knew that the dog he had wasn't really a dog. And he had known that Erin was no ordinary human, he'd known it from the moment he'd met her.

Her eyes. Her EYES. The way her eyes had been…that sort of glow in them…

But she was not merely just some random alien. She was Aroses. And quite possibly the last of her kind.

Nick suddenly felt something come over him. He had thought he was alone. That HE was alone. But he still had family. Erin had lost hers.

He had to see her. He had to make this right somehow. SOMEHOW.

Nick walked over to their ship and opened it up. "Come on." He said, brow furrowing. "We've got to get going."

"Going WHERE?" May wanted to know as she and the kids climbed inside the ship.

Nick aimed it's lasers at the ceiling and blasted an opening as they tore out into the sky, headed for his hometown. Nick's green eyes glittered as he narrowed them, then sighed deeply.

"To help a friend."

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	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

The view screen now showed Tak and Zim's cruisers facing off. Though, Erin had no idea that it was Dib, not Zim, who was now flying the cruiser. She nervously chewed on her lower lip, trying to figure out how to help them….and then she approached the console again.

"Excuse me guys but I'm gonna need full use of the console", She replied.

The Irken officers didn't think twice and got out of their seats.

"Sure thing!" One said.

"Go ahead!" Agreed the other, motioning at the controls.

Erin sat down and started plugging away at the different buttons. Red and Purple went over and stood behind her, watching in interest. "Maybe we should get popcorn." Purple remarked.

…

…

…

…Dib stared down at the monitor as it blinked. He pushed the button underneath it. Erin's face appeared on the screen a second later.

"Erin, you're okay", Dib said, smiling, and completely happy to see her in one piece.

"I'm fine." Erin assured him. "How are Zim and GIR?"

"Zim's kind of tied up at the moment to make sure bright-eyes doesn't take control of him." Dib remarked. "And I promised GIR I'd make him biscuits if he KEEPS Zim untied."

"How bad does Zim look?"

Dib turned around and noticed there were precisely five, foot-long bumps on Zim's green head, and he was mumbling, drooling out the side of his mouth.

"…preeeetty bad." Dib remarked.

"Look, do you still know Tak's cruiser code?" Erin asked.

"Yeah. As a matter of fact…I DO." Dib replied, grinning as he sent her the code, typing it quickly into the keypad of the cruiser. "Go to town, Erin!"

…

…

…

…Unfortunately, Tak's more superior technology was able to pick up Erin and Dib's conversation. Tak turned to Darth after a moment. "Stop her, **now**!" She demanded, clenching her fist.

Darth looked at Tak, frowning, "I can't do it." He told her, folding his arms in front of him.

"You don't have to KILL her, just stall her!" Tak snapped.

Darth rolled his blind eyes and raised his hand. "Fine, I'll SHOW you…"

…

…

…

…a second later, Erin erased Dib's message, as though she had no control over her hands. "Whuh?"

And then…

"AAAAAA!!!"

She began to **scream**. She fell out of her seat and onto the floor, making Red and Purple jump back in surprise. Red leaned forward and was able to pull Erin into his arms. Her eyes were white and she was crying out in small gasps.

"No…no, no, nooooo…"

Darth, meanwhile, had projected his mental self into her mind. Erin's mental self was currently a small little girl, nervously clinging to a teddy bear and standing in front of a doorway that would lead to total and utter control of her body. She whimpered as Darth's mental self approached.

But he didn't do anything except look her over, rubbing his chin. It was as if he SAW something in her. Then he vanished…

And Erin returned to normal. Her eyes went back to their normal light blue. She stared up at Red, completely confused.

…

…

…

…"Why did you stop?!" Tak asked, frowning angrily.

"I told you, I can't do it!" Darth said, "For non-Irkens, I have to TOUCH them to get TRUE control, and I couldn't control her before either, only peek at her memories. Her mind isn't like Zim's or anyone else that I've ever met before…" He admitted with a hint of being impressed. "Her mind self was utterly pure. There were no distractions at all…"

Tak gaped at him. He couldn't control her?!

But THEN the cruiser gave a jolt. Tak looked up to see Zim's cruiser firing a laser at them. Tak began to work the console, flying away so she could get a better shot.

…

…

…

…Dib had worked the console furiously.

"Time for a little can of human whop!" He replied aloud as he fired the laser  
again at Tak's ship. It blasted the shielding left and right and GIR seemed to enjoy the fireworks.

"YAY!" GIR exclaimed clapping his hands together. "EXPLODIES!"

"Hmm. Good idea!" Dib decided, flipping on the "Missile" switch again. FWOOMP-FWOOMP! Two missiles shot through space, whizzing towards Tak's ship. She BARELY dodged in time…

But then she got her second wind back and did a somersault, ending up BEHIND Dib, her eyes glinting evilly.

"Man, she's a witch with a capital B." Dib remarked.

"That's what payback is!" GIR commented.

"GIR, don't go complimenting the-"

KATHOOOOM! Their ship went flying backwards as Tak cackled horribly. "Not so tough NOW, are you?!" She sneered, firing off HER laz0rs.

Dib swerved the ship left and right, frowning angrily. "GIR, keep Zim unconscious. Remember…BISCUITS." He turned to the right and looked at a small button marked "CHAFF". A smile crept across his face.

"I've still got a few tricks left…"

…

…

…

…Red helped Erin to her feet, all the while keeping an arm around her, just in case it happened again.

"You alright?" He asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah…yeah." She said, nervously grinning.

But he knew she was lying.

"Erin…it's going to be okay." He said gently, stroking her hair. "It's going to be okay."

…

…

…

…Darth's eyes shot open and he smiled, an idea coming into his head. Yes…that was it. A way to distract Erin…to keep her from helping Zim. He frowned for a moment though…going into the TALLEST'S mind seemed…almost blasphemous.

But he was doing this to avenge Miyuki. He had to make Zim pay.

He flexed his claws and stretched his projection out. Purple found himself distracted by an urge to find a snack food, and Red…

"Erin, you look…tense." Red said, his eyes briefly flashing white, though Erin could not see, for she was looking down at the ground. "Come on, let me see if I can get rid of some of that tension."

He gently led her back to the hallway, one hand wrapped around her, crooning softly into her. "It'll be okay." He said. "I'm here for you."

"That's it." Darth thought, continuing to direct Red's actions. "Make her comfortable…safe. Keep her far away from helping Zim. Make her happy, my Tallest…" He smiled as he looked through Red's eyes. "Consider this a kindness, Erin." He spoke gently. "You and Red are about to become VERY intimate with one another…more so than even before."

The possessed Red led Erin back to his room. He gently kissed her on the lips as he began to remove her clothes and she kissed him back, holding onto his chest. But then when the possessed Red looked deep into her eyes, Darth stopped.

The eye color. That gentle, kind smile on her face. The warmth in her eyes and the soft way she was holding his cheek now…so familiar.

Like…

Like HER…JUST like her.

"Miyuki…" Darth whispered, reaching out and stroking Erin's cheek through Red. "My…my Lady…" He sobbed.

And with that, he lost control of Red, falling to his knees and weeping into his gloved hands as Felix gently patted him on the head.

**But where is Nick? Well...you shall see. Review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

"…is his house usually in this much disrepair?" May Nar inquired as she looked over the wreckage of Zim's house.

"…no. No it's not." Nick remarked.

Luckily there was nobody watching the house from the BACK, where Nick had parked the ship, and there was enough large wreckage to keep people from seeing their ship from the front anyhow. The house had been blasted into huge chunks, the TV was in little pieces, the windows had been blown into tiny shards of glass, the wallpaper peeled away. Various pieces of furniture had been blown through the air and one couch was actually embedded in the wall to their right. But what Nick noticed most of all was a note.

A poster, specifically. He picked it up and frowned as he looked it over. "WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE", it read…and it had the mugshots of Zim and Dib upon it.

"Are your friends even…" May asked quietly.

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Nick insisted, turning on her. "They're not dead! They…they can't be." He said quietly. "They wouldn't get caught by something like this. I know them, they **wouldn't** have been…"

"Wouldn't have been blown into itty bitty pieces of smoldering ash and bones?" Ian asked.

"…Iaaaaaaan!" Nick groaned, holding his head and shaking it back and forth. "I'm TRYING to be optimistic here…"

"Maybe they didn't suffer much. Is that optimistic?" Bo asked.

"Honey, stop, you're gonna make daddy cry." May warned her son.

Nick looked over at the ship. "There's only one place I can go now. It's been years since I saw them, but…I've got to find Red and Purple. They might now where Zim and Dib went…and I KNOW Red would want to know where Erin is as often as possible."

Nick grinned grimly and activated his communications chip. "Here's to hoping Darth kept his word…"

…

…

…

…Purple blinked as one of his communications officer's announced "Sir, we've got an incoming message from…EARTH!"

Purple blinked in surprise. "But…Zim's on that ship." He remarked. "Hey, RED, you better get in here!"

Red and Erin walked back onto the deck, blushing nervously and looking kind of sweaty. "Yes?" Red asked.

"Somebody is calling us from EARTH." Purple said. "Hey Erin, you didn't tell anybody our communication line, didja?"

"No." Erin said, shaking her head. "Who could be calling?"

BEEP!

"I would be calling."

The Tallest turned their heads and gaped at the sound of Communications Officer Nick's voice. "Reports of my demise are very exaggerated." He said over the line. "I'm calling from the wreckage of Zim's house, My Tall-er, Red and Purple…"

"Nick?!" Erin remarked. "Is that YOU?"

"YOU know him?" Red asked Erin.

"Yes, from Earth, but…how did you get this line?" Erin wanted to know. "Only an Irken would know it, an Irken communications officer!"

"I AM an Irken communications officer!" Nick explained proudly.

"You were an Irken all along?" Erin asked, feeling a bit…betrayed. Her shoulders sank.

"No, no, it's not like that." Nick insisted. "I can tell you're confused. Let me explain. One of Zim's little experiments got me blown up and turned into an Irken. One moment I'm holding a thing with a shiny red button in my hand, the next I'm in an Irken smeet factory and having the whole of Irken knowledge stuffed in my head, forgetting every single movie title I ever knew and struggling to remember the names of my own family members."

"Wow." Erin remarked.

"Yeah, and then I ended up falling in love too." Nick added. "Oh, hold on…Bo has got the video-feed at the house up and running…"

A few moments later a viewing screen showed Nick, May, Ian and Bo all standing in a very-wrecked living room. "Hello Red. Purple. Erin." Nick said cheerfully. "So what happened here?"

"Are…those…VORTIANS?" Erin asked.

"Yep. Meet May Nar, Ian Nar and Bo Nar." Nick said proudly.

"Lard Nar is my brother. I believe you know him?" May asked Erin.

Erin nervously blushed. "Yeah, he's a sweet guy."

"Meet my wife, guys." Nick said.

"WHAAAAA?!?" Red and Purple's mouths fell wide open.

"But-but-but…" Red repeated.

"Can he DO that?!" Purple wanted to know, turning on Red.

"I don't KNOW, actually…" Red admitted. "I'll check the "list" of "taboo rules"…"

Red reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, crumpled up list. It read _"No disrespecting the Tallest. No stealing the Tallest's Snacks. You are not to play "Pong" when you are supposed to be watching the security monitors. There IS such a thing as Double Jeopardy…"_

"Hmmmm…nothing about marrying outside the species." Red remarked, then smiling gently at Erin. "Yes, he can do that."

The reason there was no law was because Red had altered the original rules, which, in fact, was that piece of paper he had put in his pocket. He'd licked the entry off upon becoming Tallest, deciding that perhaps, one day…

"Hellooo?" Nick waved on the screen. "Where are Zim and Dib? What happened here at the house?"

"Tak and Darth placed BOUNTIES on Zim and Dib's heads!" Erin said, putting her hands on her hips and frowning. "Tak wanted to get back at Dib and Zim for ruining her plans and life, and Darth was trying to get Zim killed too…"

"Darth's giving you trouble? Ugh. This is because of Miyuki…" Nick sighed, he held his head and shook it back and forth. "Don't worry, I'll come help."

"I don't know, I think Dib's doing pretty well!" Erin remarked.

"HEEEEELLP MEEEEEE!!!" Dib yelled over the intercom system as he piloted Zim's ship past the main window of the Massive, with a cackling Tak and Mimi at the controls. A large crippling BA-BLAKKA sound made them realize that Tak had disabled Zim's ship and now she was going to BOARD it.

"…_riiiiiight_. Where are their coordinates?" Nick asked quickly.

…

…

…

…Tak smirked as she calmly tapped her claws on the window, looking at the Massive. Dib, GIR and Zim were tied up in stasis cuffs, with Mimi on their left, Felix on their right, and a solemn, saddened Darth right behind them, placing his hand on Dib's shoulder and keeping control over him and Zim to ensure neither one would try anything stupid.

"Now we have **definitely** gotten their **APT** attention…" Tak began. "I'm sure this is confusing for you, Dib, but there's something you need to understand. We're doing this not because we're monsters, but because we were wronged and this is our RIGHT."

She turned around. "I'm saying this out loud and slowly because I doubt you could fully understand it unless I DID speak this way, Zim. And I say THAT because frankly, you are a moron."

"Release Zim now and I will only PARTLY kill you." Zim remarked, eyes narrowed with hate.

"Yeah, that's funny." Tak giggled.

"What's your PROBLEM, Tak?" Dib asked. "I thought you were better than this."

Tak blinked. "What?"

"I mean, I kinda, sorta…" He tilted his head to the side. "LIKED you. I mean, we could have stopped Zim together. Maybe have been really good friends."

Tak suddenly drew in a harsh breath. She tried to find the right words to say. This admission was a surprise. Finally she frowned and turned back to look out the window.

"I will admit, I…liked talking with you as well. You were as equally witty as I was, and I did find your interest in paranormal activity somewhat fascinating. However I am an Invader, first and foremost, and your kind are the Invaded. It's just the way things are. Any sentiment I might have for others has to come AFTER the mission I must accomplish." She went on.

"Hmm." Darth blinked. "I sense something…someone coming. Very fast…"

Tak raced to the control console and gaped at the sight of a Spittle Runner with a white paintjob approaching her ship, and a voice crackled on the communications systems.

"Hello, Tak, Darth. Got your attention? GOOD. Back on Earth there's this saying: "I'm calling you out". Let's settle this fairly…"

"Nick?!" Darth blinked in surprise. "I haven't heard from you in YEARS! You're still alive? How's your family?"

"Oh, they're doing alright. Bo says "Hi", by the way."

Zim blinked. "Wait…you? That huuuuman who exploded? How do you know this communications channel?"

The viewing screen for TAK'S ship turned on, and Nick in full communications officer regalia appeared, green eyes gazing intently at them all. "THIS is how." He said. "You turned me into an Irken, Zim…and you sent me into the past. I've lived an entire lifetime and I've got enough experience in flying and fighting to take YOU on, Tak."

"I'll have you know I scored the highest in my sector on the training simulations of Devastis." Tak bragged, smirking.

"Yes, true." Nick admitted.

"So it's not very SMART of you to fight against me. I could just have Darth lobotomize you."

"But you won't, because your pride won't let you lose to a human-turned-into-an-Irken, will you?" Nick remarked. "Just like Zim wouldn't want to turn this challenge down. It would mean that an inferior species can not only learn every single trick YOU know, but do it BETTER."

Tak's brow furrowed. She turned dark green with anger.

"How about a deal?" Nick offered. "I'm coming onto the ship. Let's have a fair fight. I win, you let them go and I'll try and convince the Tallest to show leniency towards you, ALL of you. I lose…you can do whatever you want with me. I will kiss your c'hurta and call it strawberry ice cream if you want."

"If I WIN…I'll start on you a LITTLE. But JUST a little. I really want you to get to work…" Tak turned and sneered at Zim and Dib. "On HER."

Their eyes widened respectively. They knew exactly what she was implying.

"And you two will get to watch me do it!" She remarked happily. "Won't that just be HELL?!" She threw her head back and laughed pitilessly.

Darth frowned deeply at this and rubbed his chin while Nick folded his arms. "…fine. I agree to those terms. But I am NOT losing to you." He said. "Starting docking procedure…NOW."

He pressed a button on his console and his ship flew up to Tak's, clicking into place. The airlock opened and Nick stepped inside of the ship, looking Tak over, then Mimi, then Felix, then Darth, then GIR, then Dib, then finally laying his eyes on Zim.

"…wow, you're…taller in person." Zim remarked. He felt slightly jealous. "Not that I care!" He added.

"Nice to see you too!" Nick said as he turned back to Tak.

"You came unarmed?" She inquried.

"Yes, it makes it fairer. I won't even use my PAK."

"Very noble." Tak remarked. "But **foolish**!"

Tak's spidery metal legs shot out through the ship. Nick ducked to the side and grabbed a nearby can of soda, shaking it up, then spraying it in her face. "HA!" He laughed, diving over to Zim and Dib, shoving Mimi and Felix aside. Darth ran to pick Felix up, hearing him go "OW" as he was embedded in the ship's wall and Nick tore the cuffs off of Zim. "Don't worry, I'll have you out in a jiffy." He said, turning to Dib.

THWUNK!

He gasped and some blood dripped out of his mouth. He looked down at his gloved hands at the blood, then turned around and saw Tak stepping back…

A YANKING motion pulled something out of his back and he turned to look at Dib, who was staring with horror at a bloodied knife that had been in…

Been in HIS…his…so…

Tired…

Nick hit the ground, eyes glazing over, becoming very…very still…

…

…

…

…Dib and Zim were up against the wall while Felix and Mimi held GIR back, who was struggling uselessly. "No!" He shouted over and over. "Leave my master alone!" He begged Tak. "Please mean lady, be **nice**!"

Tak slapped his face and then nodded at Darth, who calmly walked over to Dib and Zim, making sure their restraints were in place. He stepped back and turned on the viewing screen, allowing Erin, Red and Purple to watch. Not only that, but May, Bo and Ian were on the Massive as well, with Bo and Ian sobbing over losing their daddy and May's eyes sunk deeply in, having reached a point beyond tears. Her sweet husband…Nick, who had saved her life so many times…was dead. And now this monster was about to kill her husband's friends.

"Tak, STOP!" Erin begged.

Red and Purple looked nervous. On the one hand, they didn't like Zim, or GIR, and they "nothing'd" Dib. But if those three died, Erin, who they DID like…would be heartbroken…and Red like-liked Erin.

It was a toss-up. Watch the most horrid, annoyingly pestering Irken in the universe, his equally annoying and insane robot sidekick and a ridiculously big-headed human be removed from their lives and stop being obstacles or break the heart of their dear friend Erin.

"I know it's customary to say something nice about the deceased at a funeral and this IS your funeral, but…" Tak shrugged. "I can't think of anything nice to say about you, Zim." She turned to Dib. "You, I suppose, were a lot more skilled than I gave you credit for. Kudos." She remarked, clapping.

"Don't make Erin look." Zim asked quietly.

"What was that?" Tak asked, blinking.

What they didn't see was Nick's body MOVING.

"Don't make her watch." Zim added, tears burning a trail down his cheeks.

"…" Tak was surprised to see Zim crying like this. Not for his own sake, but…for another. She hesitated then…

"UGGGHHH…"

EVERYONE turned around and gaped at the sight of Nick standing up…and changing.

His green skin turned whitish pink…he grew HAIR on his head…his eyes became smaller, a NOSE and EARS appeared…his tongue shrank and was no longer segmented. He had five fingers and toes now, and more muscle and fat on his body. Now he wore a grey pair of pajama pants and a raincoat with white socks and sneakers…what he'd been wearing when he'd been zapped.

He felt something kiss his soul gently, wishing it well, and then returning…and he knew what to do.

Rushing forward, he knocked Tak's gun to the side before she could react and he grabbed her by the wrist, lifting her up.

"I suppose you think this is some big fight to restore lost honor?" Nick asked. "You ALWAYS miss the point. It's not about that. It's about revenge. And I'm sick of that line of thinking. Oh…and one more thing…"

WHACK!

He knocked her out with a quick punch to the face. "STOP STABBING ME." He added angrily.

Tak's body hit the ground and she moaned, unconscious. Mimi ran to her side, but let go of GIR, who quickly activated the lasers in his head, setting Zim and Dib free. They PUNTED Mimi across the ship and she slid to the ground, also knocked out. Felix clung to Darth, who held out his wrists.

"I surrender." He said softly.

Nick slapped a pair of stasis cuffs on him and then on Tak, sighing.

"Well." He remarked. "Glad **that's** over."

"Why'd you say "stop stabbing me"?" Dib wanted to know.

"…I don't KNOW…" Nick remarked. "It feels like something somebody else wanted me to say that I just had to say in his stead…"

"Ah, the sweet taste of victory." Zim remarked, placing one boot on Tak's head and his fists on the side of his body.

"Tastes like dooky!" GIR laughed.

"…I don't **like** you when you do that." Zim snapped.

"Let's just get back to Erin." Dib said, adjusting his slightly-cracked glasses. "And then head HOME. I've had enough space adventure "fun" to last me at LEAST a week."

"A week?" Nick asked.

"Trust me." Dib went on. "Putting up with Zim, you gotta be ready for stuff like this to happen ALL the time."

"And I wouldn't have it any other way!" Erin laughed happily on the first view screen as May and her kids bounded up and down cheerfully and Red smiled, simply nodding in approval along with Purple at this turn of events.

They could relax now. Finally, it was over.

**Review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

With Tak, Mimi, Darth and Felix in tow, Nick, Dib, GIR and Zim boarded the Massive and stood on the bridge to join May, Ian, Bo, Erin, Red and Purple. Nick and his family reunited as he walked into the room, hugging them all and patting their heads.

May reached up and felt his skin. "It's so…soft…" She said quietly. "But your eyes are even more beautiful than before." She admitted. "You're still the same brave Nick who saved our lives so many times."

"Yes." Nick said, nodding. "And I would never leave you all alone." He insisted.

The minute Dib and Zim walked onto the deck, Erin hugged both of them. Though, as she hugged Zim, her arms lingered a **few** seconds longer. Dib didn't mind though…he was just thankful to be alive.

"I'm so glad you're okay" She said softly.

Zim softly touched her cheek, "I was…I was worried about you" he admitted quietly.

"Does anything hurt?" Erin asked, examining the minor bruises he had on him.

"Well…I do have some head trauma because SOMEBODY hit me in the head" Zim replied, glaring at Dib and GIR.

"What?! You WERE going to throttle ME!" Dib defended.

"YOU TOLD MY ROBOT TO HIT ME OVER THE HEAD WITH A FRYING PAN!"

"YOU tried to KILL me because you let yourself get possessed by a creepy blind villain!"

"Helloooo? The "creepy blind villain" can hear you?" Darth spoke up as Zim let go of Erin and he and Dib started arguing. He shrugged and sighed.

"Looks like everything is back to normal" Nick replied, shaking his head, laughing.

"Do those two **ever** get along?" May asked, looking at Erin after glancing at Dib and Zim.

"Well…no, they don't" Erin stated, trying to think of ONE TIME they ever got along...and the answer was zero.

"They will. One day." Nick said gently. He then smiled happily, being back in his human form, "Well then…is everyone ready to go home…to planet Earth?" He asked clapping his hands.

Everyone nodded…everyone…

Everyone except…

"I'm not going back".

They all looked at Erin. Even **Red and Purple** looked at her.

**"Hu-what?"** Nick remarked, one eyebrow raised.

"You're not…you're not coming with us?" Dib asked softly.

Erin looked at them and then at the Tallest and then back to the group again.

"It's not that I don't want to...it's just..." She paused and stared at the floor, trying to grasp the right words, and then she looked up again after a moment or so, "Life is really short and there are just something's that you need to take care of…so you don't miss out on all the good stuff" she looked over at Red and smiled gently at him.

"Erin, that is really sweet" Nick exclaimed, he went over and put his hands on her shoulders, "If you want to stay here, we completely understand." He told her, nodding.

"Erin, are you sure?" Red asked, though he smiled gently at her.

Erin nodded, "I didn't almost get blown up three or four times, get kidnapped, fly a million miles from Earth to wherever we are, to go back to Earth and forget about what happened between us" she paused and added, "I love you and I've never been this sure in my entire life".

The entire deck crew turned in their seats, "AAAAWWWEEEE!" they replied in unison.

Dib blinked. He then shrugged a little and said. "Well…okay! But…" He bit his lip and spoke quietly. "When…when you get the chance…"

Erin nodded in understanding. "I will." And then she turned to Zim. "Zim?"

Zim looked at Red…then at Erin.

Then he walked over to his Tallest and placed Red's two-digited hand on Erin's and nodded, smiling as he stepped back.

Nick wiped a tear away. "Th-that was…that was beautiful." He said gently.

"What are we going to do with THESE guys?" Erin asked, looking at Tak, Darth and their respective SIR units.

Darth lowered his head in shame. "I have SHAMED my lady's memory in trying to harm one who's soul was as pure as hers." He mumbled. "There's no forgiveness for me…"

"Oh stop talking like that!" Purple remarked. "You can control Irkens with your mind. If you put that to good use for your Empire and…" He looked over at Erin. "If Erin says you're forgiven…I think we can welcome you back to the fold…Fleet Commander Darth."

Darth's head shot up. "R-really?" He asked, eyes sparkling happily. "I…I could be a fleet commander?"

He looked over at Erin and got on one knee, bowing his head. "My lady…could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"

"Yes. I can." Erin said gently, helping him back up. "You tried to be kind to me and the only reason you were doing this at all was because you wanted to avenge the death of one who was very precious to you. I might have done the same thing in your place." She admitted.

Darth smiled happily. "Oh my lady Erin…you are too kind."

"What are we gonna do about TAK?!" Dib said, frowning.

"She STABBED you!" GIR remarked, pointing at Nick. "It went EVERY-"

"Please, don't make me relive the experience." Nick said, placing his hand on his head. "Tak, I think…needs time to forgive and BE forgiven for what she has done." He looked her over. "I'm thinkin'…we let her come to Earth and she stays there."

"WHAT?!" Tak's eyes widened. "B-but-but…"

"Sounds like a good idea to me!" Red laughed. "Your Tallest demand it."

"Yeah! So THERE." Purple spoke up, sticking his tongue out at Tak.

"It's better than getting strapped to an autopsy table." Dib remarked, smirking.

"Or getting shot in the face!" GIR added cheerfully.

"No idea where THAT came from…" Nick commented, shrugging.

"If it were up to ME, I'd join in slicing you open, but I feel Erin should get the final choice." He turned to Erin. "Well, Erin?"

Erin tapped her lip, then smiled. "You know…having her go to Earth is a good idea." She admitted. "Dib, Zim, you two can keep an eye on her pretty well, can't you?"

"And if she ever acts up, I'LL help stop her too." Nick added.

"We ALL will." May said, stepping forward.

"Yeah, we'll kick her-"

"Watch your language, son."

"Awwww…" Bo's expression sank as he hung his head.

"Then it's settled…she stays on Earth!" Darth remarked with a cheerful grin.

Tak "harrumphed" and folded her arms while Mimi hissed at them all. Nick just laughed. "C'mon everyone. Let's get going."

They all piled into Zim's ship, waving goodbye to Erin through the windshield. She waved back, one arm wrapped around Red's waist as Purple turned to the various guards and told them to prepare a cake…

As the ship shot off through space to head back to Earth, GIR spoke up.

"I'm gonna sing the Doom Song!"

Zim and Dib's eyes widened.

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo…"_

…

…

…

…as it turned out, it was not a bad life at all.

Nick had gained technological savvy from spending so much time as an Irken and had gotten to work on creating holographic disguises for his wife and children with Zim and Dib adding some final touches. Now they were enrolled in school just as Dib and Zim were…

Correction, Dib, Zim…and TAK.

Tak had also returned to school, thus facilitating the need to send not two, but THREE children back to the underground classroom. The Letter M, Scarball and Melvin would be missed.

Okay, maybe not TOTALLY…

Ultimately their lives were rather normal, and yet, not so normal. Zim still tried harebrained schemes to take over the world, Dib would stop him, Tak would think up ways to destroy them BOTH and Nick just tried to live well at his new house. He was no longer in college but at graduate school, preparing to become a teacher. Specifically, he planned to teach right at the school his friends lived at…

It was then that Nick began to notice that a funny expression lingered on Dib's face when he looked at Tak.

Whenever Tak shot at him with a stun gun, to him it felt almost like a kiss! And she was beginning to thoroughly ENJOY the witty banter she and Dib exchanged as they fought over the fate of the Earth…Nick suspected it was only a matter of time.

Who knows where it could all lead, he wondered as he looked down at a postcard from Darth. The blind Irken had been doing VERY well as new Fleet Commander of the Irken Armada and, most enjoyable of all, got to make people strip if they made fun of his blindness. He was proving to be a skilled and worthy Fleet Commander and had already forced the Meekrob forces far away from Irk.

Back on Vort, Lard Nar had written to May. The planet was theirs again. Larb had been called away by the Tallest for a party to celebrate how well he'd been doing on the planet, and in five days it had gotten back in the hands of the Vortians. The Tallest had decided to give up on holding onto Vort and decided just to let them keep the planet…BUT…they wanted the Vortians to make them comfortable couches in exchange. Lard Nar had said "yes".

Today was going to be special, Nick said as he walked outside and saw Dib, Zim, GIR, Gaz, Tak and Mimi all on his front lawn. May, Ian and Bo walked behind him and they smiled as Nick held up the key to his ship, which rose up in the back of his house. "Well…everyone in!"

Soon all of them had reached a large plain with a single tree and they were waiting, watching the skies.

"Shouldn't they have come back by now?" Gaz complained.

"Are they here yet?" GIR asked over and over. "Are they here yet? Are they here yet? Are they here yet?"

Nick squinted…then smiled.

"Yes."

The Massive slowly lowered down over the open plain, and five people teleported down.

Red and Erin stepped forward as Erin beamed at them all. The sign "Just Married" on the back of the Massive gleamed in the bright blue sky. Purple held up a bag of doughnuts. "Want one?" He asked Darth and Felix, who shook their heads. He turned to Zim. "Want one?"

"Ooh, gimme!" Zim said, grabbing one.

"How was the honeymoon?" Nick asked.

"Oh it was wonderful!" Erin said happily. "And, uh…" She blushed nervously. "I'm _late_…"

"Only by a couple minutes." Dib said, shrugging.

"No…I'm **LATE**." Erin insisted, giving them a "You know" look.

"…OOOOHHHHH…" All their eyes widened.

"She's gonna have a SQUISHY!" GIR proclaimed. "You know what?"

BOING! A camera stand popped out of his head. "We gotta get a picture of all this! Smile and say "Mozzarella Cheese"!"

Everyone grouped together as GIR set up the camera, then raced over to join his master. One…two…three…

**"Mozzarella Cheese"!" **

CLICK!

…

…

…

… "GIIIIR! You cut ALL our heads off!"

…

…

…

…Darth leaned back in his chair in his private office on the main flagship of his fleet, the "Elegant Lady" which he named in memory of his dear female superiors, Erin and Miyuki. He smiled as Felix massaged him one last time, then headed off to do some expense reports to find out how much a party to celebrate Erin and Red's second child would cost.

Darth allowed his eyes to close…and then something happened. He felt it. A tiny twinge of some far off consciousness…a hint of pure SOUL…

He shot up, eyes widening, and turned to the right, then to the left…then looked up.

"_My Lady_?" He whispered, his unseeing eyes now seeing her cyan ones all too clearly.

…

…

…

… "I'm glad you got out of the Swollen Eyeballs." Tak said, kissing Dib on the cheek. "That organization wasn't any good for you."

"I'm glad YOU'VE stopped trying to take over the Earth. My legs can't take running over the rooftops day after day." Dib laughed. "So, pick you up for the dance at eight?"

"DON'T be late." Tak remarked, poking his big head and laughing.

…

…

…

…Zim sighed as he looked at the couples out on the dance floor. He'd rented a tuxedo for NOTHING apparently.

Then a nervous looking girl put away her Zune and tapped him on the shoulder. "Uh…could you…dance with me? Maybe?"

Zim blinked. He looked at her eyes.

"…yes. I…I'd like to dance with you." He remarked. He took her hand and led her out to the dance floor. "Your name is "Ember", right? You're the quiet one in class…"

…

…

…

…Nick smiled and whacked the pointer stick into his hands as he addressed the class. "And so, that's how it works. Either the pieces fit together by a coincidence, the rectangle came first and then was separated into a thousand pieces, or a mighty Intelligence in one thousand individual acts of creation made the pieces with the design for a rectangle in mind. That's the basic gist of it all."

"Well we can guess HOW." Gaz remarked. "But WHY is what I wanna know."

Nick smiled and shrugged. "THAT…is up to you to figure out."

_This reminds me of an old story. Back in the early days, NASA predicted that two asteroids were going to collide outside Jupiter. But then…they redid the math and found no, they would miss each other by miles._

_What happened? The asteroids hit…but the math had been right. Those two rocks should not have come together. _

_So I guess sometimes…things are just meant to be and that is basically that. _

_And I don't mind that one bit. _

_**Sun's up…  
A little after twelve!  
Make breakfast for myself…  
Leave the work for someone else!  
People say…  
They say that it's just a phase!  
They tell me to act my age…  
Well I aaaaam!**_

**_On this peeeeerfeeeect daaaay,  
Nothing's standing in my way!  
On this peeeeerfeeeect daaaay,  
When nothing can go wrong!  
It's the peeeeerfeeeect daaaay,  
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon!  
I could staaaaaay, forever as I am!_**

**_On this peeeeerfeeeect daaaaaaay!_**

**_Sun's down…  
A little after ten!  
I pick up all my friends…  
In my Mercedes-Benz!_**

**_Wake up!  
Don't tell me it's just a dream!  
'Cause when I've had enough,  
You'll hear me say,  
"Now don't you try to rain on my…"_**

**_On this peeeeerfeeeect daaaay,  
Nothing's standing in my way!  
On this peeeeerfeeeect daaaay,  
When nothing can go wrong!  
It's the peeeeerfeeeect daaaay,  
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon!  
I could staaaaaay, forever as I am!_**

**_On this peeeeerfeeeect daaaaaaay!_**

**_La la la  
La la la,  
Oh, oh_**

**_I'm in the race,  
But I've already won!  
(La la la)  
And getting there can  
Be half the fun!  
(La la la)  
So don't stop me  
Till I'm good and done,  
Don't you try to rain on my…_**

**_Peeeerfeeect daaaaay…_**

**_Peeeerfeeect daaaay…_**

**_It's the peeeeerfeeeect daaaay,  
Nothing's gonna bring me down!  
I could staaaay…_**

**_Forever as I aaaaam!_**

**_On this peeeeerfeeeect daaaay,  
Nothing's standing in my way,  
On this peeeeerfeeeect daaaay,  
Nothing can go wrong!_**

**_I'm in the race,  
But I've already won!  
And getting there can  
Be half the fun!  
So don't stop me  
Till I'm good and done…  
Don't you try to rain on my…_**

**_Peeeeerfeeeect daaaay,  
On this peeeeerfeeeect daaaay,  
On this peeeeerfeeeect daaaaaaaay!_**

…

…

…

…the Man in Blue bowed his head before the large desk. "Superior, Agent Mothman turned in his resignation."

"…then our plans can't go through…" The Superior remarked, frowning behind the desk, his large chair turned away from the Man in Blue, the darkness of the room keeping others from seeing who he truly was.

"What shall we do, then?" The Man in Blue inquired.

"…we'll try the reach the other channel. And don't worry…"

The Superior turned around, revealing a squared, yellow, holed body with a fairly large nose, two buck teeth, and large eyes. He placed his hands together and grinned. "My plans aren't finished yet. Bah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" He laughed.

**Author's note:**

**WOW. Didn't expect THAT kind of ending, did ya? In any case, I certainly hope you enjoyed this final chapter. I'd like to say Erin was an absolute joy to write alongside with, and she's a really amazing person. I wish you the best with all your work. And you people! Reading this! Check out her work! **

**And stay cool. :)**


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